Episode 896 - Danielle Millholen

In today's episode Jeremy sits down in person and chats with Danielle Millholen about her time in martial arts and the struggles she is currently facing.

Danielle Millholen - Episode 896

SUMMARY
In this episode, Jeremy interviews Danielle Millholen, a martial artist with a background in Taekwondo. They discuss Danielle's journey in martial arts, the expansion of her horizons through training and traveling, and the integration of different martial arts styles. They also explore how martial arts has become a lifestyle for Danielle, impacting her personal growth and confidence. Additionally, they delve into the relationship between fitness and martial arts, as well as Danielle's experience training for a fight and dealing with an injury. In this conversation, Jeremy and Danielle discuss her journey in martial arts, including her struggles with progress, dealing with depression, finding joy in teaching kids, the importance of having fun, personal growth and self-awareness, limitations and working on personal attributes, future goals, and inspiring others.

TAKEAWAYS
*Martial arts can lead to the formation of strong friendships and a sense of community.
*Integrating different martial arts styles can enhance one's training and expand their knowledge.
*Martial arts can contribute to personal growth, increased confidence, and a more open mindset.
*Fitness and strength training can complement martial arts training and improve performance.
*Training for a fight requires mental preparation and a balance between confidence and humility.
*Dealing with injuries in martial arts can be challenging, but it can also provide opportunities for personal growth and reflection. Struggling with progress is a common experience in martial arts, but seeking second opinions and trying different approaches can help overcome obstacles.
*Depression can be a challenging period, but having a support system and finding joy in teaching and training can help alleviate the symptoms.
*Teaching kids can be a rewarding experience, and being able to have fun and be goofy with them is important for building a positive learning environment.
*Having fun is crucial in martial arts training, as it enhances the learning experience and keeps motivation high.
*Self-awareness and personal growth are essential in martial arts, and being open to feedback and willing to listen can lead to significant improvements.
*Recognizing limitations and working on personal attributes can help overcome obstacles and achieve goals.
*Setting future goals, such as getting back into fighting and inspiring others, can provide motivation and direction in martial arts.
*Closing thoughts: Keep kicking, train hard, have fun, laugh a lot, and continue to pursue personal growth in martial arts.

CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction and Background
03:05 Expanding Horizons and Building Friendships
05:51 Integration of Different Martial Arts
11:04 Martial Arts as a Lifestyle
12:45 Personal Growth and Confidence
15:48 Fitness and Martial Arts
23:04 Injury and Mental Challenges
26:57 Struggling with Progress
27:57 Dealing with Depression
30:05 Finding Joy in Teaching Kids
35:56 The Importance of Having Fun
36:25 Personal Growth and Self-Awareness
40:38 Limitations and Working on Personal Attributes
46:29 Future Goals and Inspiring Others
50:29 Closing Thoughts

Show Notes

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Show Transcript

Jeremy (00:00.394)

Hey, what's going on everybody? Welcome, it's another episode of Whistlekick, martial arts radio, and today I'm joined by my, say old friend, I've known you a long time. Old friend, yeah. Danielle Melholland, and if you're watching this episode, you can see we are in a kindergarten classroom. In fact, we are in the building that we host, Free Training Day Northeast, which has become a martial summit, and.

We had a training earlier today, a bunch of people got together and then we had lunch and then we threw axes. It's been a wonderful day. We're capping off the day with getting you on the show and I'm really excited about that. If you wanna go deeper on this episode, any episode, go to whis If you wanna see all the things that we are doing as an organization to support you, the traditional martial artists of the world, go to whistlekick.com. Everything from Whistlekick Alliance to our Patreon to our store, you can save.

15% with the code podcast one.

Jeremy (01:04.013)

Hi. How are you? I'm good, how are you doing? I'm good. I'm trying to remember when I met you. I remember when I met your mom. And I remember when I met Paul. Yeah. And we met actually not terribly far from where we are now. No. I met them at a Superfoot event in New Hampshire. And here we are in Keene, New Hampshire. Yeah. And I think.

Jeremy (01:33.034)

I think I started, you know, training with Paul and then hanging out with Paul and then I think I was just brought into the picture. Did you just? Afterwards. It's been a little while you were 16? I was about 15 when I first met you and when I first met Superfly I was 15 and then yeah I kind of I was just kind of brought into it to meet everybody and like

And I know it kind of feels like they've just known me for forever. So yeah. I have so many friendships that are like that. Yeah. Most of them are in the martial arts. I don't have very many friendships that...

Jeremy (02:14.09)

are that kind of, they've always been there that are not martial artists. And maybe it's the shared background. I don't know exactly what it is, but it's probably something. Somewhere along the lines, yeah. I'd say it's about the same for me. A lot of my friends are martial artists and it's like a fine line between those who do the martial arts and they understand everything. And then you have those where it's just like, I have no idea what you're doing. I'm like, I get it.

I don't even know sometimes. I don't. It's a weird thing that we do. Painting. Good job punching me in the face. That was a good one. It's inherently odd. Now, 15 when I met you, you had earned your black belt. You were already a black belt. Yes, I was a second degree of black belt in Taekwondo when you first met me. Okay. When did you start training? I started training...

When I was 10 years old, I kind of just got thrown into a martial art class. I was being held at our community center. And cause I live in Connecticut. So they just had it. And that's where I met my stepfather, Paul. Um, and I was about 10 years old when that happened. And then.

We should take a small step out of that sentence though, because that's a strange sentence. Paul was not your stepfather at the time. At the time, no, he was not, no. I think that's an important distinction for everyone. At the time, no, he was not my stepfather. He was my instructor first. And then apparently my memory is a little off. According to my mother, I actually didn't start training until I was 11. So it was like a year later.

Um, that's when I started because I was in middle school. Um, and I've kind of just been there ever since about like 2011 till now. So it's been about 13 years in total. I think this September will make it 13 years for me training. And. You know, it's, it's easy to imagine at 10, 11.

Jeremy (04:22.146)

A lot of parental influence. I'm guessing your mom, I know your mom, I'm guessing she had some encouragement. She had a little influence over what I should be doing. But I also know you well enough now to know that you don't have to. And I think it's important to note that your siblings trained past tense. Yeah. Most of them, right? Most of them, yeah. Eric right now, he still trains. The others.

They got their black belt. So I think that was kind of like, as long as they have that, you know, you can do whatever you want after. So we know that you didn't have to continue, right? That's the only reason I bring that up. Yeah, yeah, I didn't have to continue. So you continued. That's a big wind up to why. I mean, once I got the black belt, I was introduced, like my mind was opened a lot more to all the other.

that was out there. It more...

It started when I got my second degree in Taekwondo. That's when, again, I first met Superfoot. That's when kind of my world expanded even more, going to Terry's events and just traveling all over New England first, traveling all over New England just to meet all the different instructors and all the different friends that I've made over the past lord knows how many years it's been.

But after that, I think I must have been 16 years old or something like that. That's when everything kind of just blew up. It was like, I'm meeting all these people who live in Maine, Mass, Vermont, New Hampshire, people in Florida, got people out and just all over the country. So, yeah. Yeah. So prior to your introduction to.

Jeremy (06:17.658)

Bill Wallace and all of the folks that came with that introduction, myself included, you were training in a fairly straightforward Taekwondo curriculum. And I know Paul, well enough, your stepfather, well enough to know that he's always been interested in this other stuff, but it seemed like maybe not the exposure. What was it like?

for you as these other things were kind of being brought into your world? Was it, were you excited and open to it? Was, was it, why do I want to do that? Do you remember? It was um...

It was weird to be honest with you because it was one, it was just like I, I didn't really know what I was doing. Honestly, it was more of just kind of the same thing. I was just being thrown into it. Kind of just like figure it out, have fun, you know, just that kind of stuff. And, um, I mean, I'm, I'm a huge kicker. I love kicking. Um,

I think I definitely clicked more when it came to the striking arts. They're obviously definitely just, you know, it's just striking. I love it. I couldn't ask for anything else.

And that's really it. So, I mean, it was definitely one where in our system at first, it was kind of looked down upon to like, try out other arts. And it was just like, no, like you have to stick with this one. And that's it. Cause if you cross-drained you're admitting that whatever you do is missing something, how dare you acknowledge that.

Jeremy (08:03.318)

no art is complete and perfect and handles everything exactly on its own. Yeah, yeah. So I think once we kind of realize that, no, we're allowed to expand our knowledge with the arts, I think that's where it kind of just clicked. It's just like, no, we're allowed to do that. We can go discover what else we can learn, what else we can incorporate into our system, which is what we're doing currently.

And yeah, it's just a lot of it mainly had to do with just having fun with it. And then, you know, meeting friends along the way, other instructors, just being able to travel a lot, too, is a big part of it. You've brought up travel a few times. You can't tell I love traveling. I know you love traveling. Now that you've brought it up a few times, I can I can bring it up. You know, is it is this martial arts stuff an excuse to travel or is it?

and I also get to travel. It's like 75% an excuse to travel, mostly. I love traveling in general. I love going to new countries. That's what I just did a couple weeks ago. Yeah, how many countries did you guys go to? Like five. It was, every.

I'm friends with you know all of them on Facebook and it's like every day was you know, you were in a different country It seemed like a blast absolutely. Yeah, it was just an amazing time Especially learning the history. I love learning it

seeing what makes them different compared to other countries as well. And the same thing with like the martial arts too, like just traveling in general just to go do one of those arts. I love to do it. Absolutely. If I can learn just a little bit of history behind why you know it's in this part of the country not like over here. That's great. I'd love to learn why is that. Have you spent much time understanding the history of...

Jeremy (10:08.878)

Taekwondo or some of these other things that you've done. Is that, it's off. Does that keep your brain going? It does now. Okay. When I was younger, absolutely not. I could care less. Why not? I think just at the time, it just wasn't interesting. To me, it was more just like, no, like I just, I want to be in the action of it. Like I just want to learn. And that was it. I didn't really want to know the history behind like why it's built up the way it is now. I could not.

about it. But I mean now I definitely feel like I have a little bit more respect as to how it was built, you know, the foundation behind it, how they were taught before and just the way that they used to train in the past. I definitely feel like I have a lot more understanding about it too. So history and the traveling is just kind of just got like incorporated as time went on.

The word that's coming to mind as we kind of think of these pieces and how you're handling is integration. Right? Martial arts was a thing that you did and now it's kind of also a thing of who you are. Right? As you talk about the history and the understanding and travel and meeting people, it's...

it's cliche and maybe a little cheesy, but you're describing the lifestyle. You're describing the martial arts lifestyle. Yeah. So that's a fair way to put it? Yeah, pretty much. You see martial arts as your lifestyle or part of your lifestyle. Yeah, it's definitely a big part of it as just the traveling part. I mean...

Like I, I just, every chance that I can get to just get away from my own life at home, I can travel somewhere and to learn something new, I'm all glad to do it. So kind of like what I did today traveling here. By the way guys, first time by myself driving up here was really scary. I won't lie, but I'm really glad that I came because again, I learned something new today. So every chance I can. So again, every, every chance that I can, I can take.

Jeremy (12:18.177)

to do that all well. Nice. Yeah. Okay. So when we think about martial arts as a lifestyle, one of the obvious things that someone might ask is, how has your life changed as a result, right? As you started integrating these things, seeing martial arts is more than being in the action, as you call it. Yeah. What's changed? Or how have you changed?

I would say as I was just a person in general, I feel like my confidence has definitely gone up I won't say by a lot because that's just being cocky but like by at least a little bit it has because I was a very shy person um

And I was definitely a lot more serious too. Like the very first picture Paul has of the very first day of me training, he's very, very serious. I did not smile, I did not crack a joke, I did not laugh, like I was just very, very serious and I just stood there. And- How, no, hold on. How, because I know your mom and she's not, at least in the time I've known her, a super serious person. And you were at home with three brothers

When you started? Oh, when I started? No, yeah, furry. Sorry. It's okay. I'm Clint and Eric now. Ha ha. How are you a serious person in that environment? I have no idea. Was it counter? Was everyone else ridiculous and goofy and being young boys? And so you were the serious person over here? I think...

I think it was like when I was at home, I was definitely just a very goofy person. And then it was just like the fact I think it was I was in a new environment and I didn't really know anybody. So I think that's why like I was just no, I can't I can't be my goofy self and crack jokes and you know, do all the things that a 10 year old girl would do. Like I have to be serious. I have to you know, I can't do that. Um, that has obviously changed as time has gone on. Um, thankfully.

Jeremy (14:26.76)

definitely has changed so as far as like with lifestyle again just more confident in myself I think I've definitely have learned to open up a lot more to with you know just being myself in general because it's like I love to have fun you know when it's times where it's like no like you really just need to focus and train hard I'll do that I'll make the switch but

I love to have fun. I love to just laugh and just be goofy with whatever it is that I'm learning. And on top of that, I think fitness became a very big part of my life that I didn't really notice it until I got into high school. I think I was 14, 15 when I first got my black belt.

and in my high school we had like a private gym that was in the upstairs they had a weight room and when I saw it I was like oh now would be a great time to figure out you know just how strong I really am the first thing that I went to was a squat rack that was my first mistake don't do the squat rack but that's maybe not without a little supervision yeah not without someone watching you um but you know I just I started I started with the bar you know I did a couple just to get the

you know I'm adding like three giant things of weight just on both sides like all right let's see how heavy I can go and I was just like I should have done that but I learned that like I can become stronger if I keep doing what I'm doing going to the gym just lifting weights trying to be healthy working out all that stuff it's definitely increased a lot more in this past year

And it's just a really, really big part for me. It's just that fitness. Nice. So anytime somebody talks about martial arts versus something complimentary, right? Like strength training, fitness, that. There's of course an overlap, and I'm curious about how one helps the other and vice versa. So how does your martial arts help you in this other stuff? And how does the other stuff help you in your martial arts? So with the martial arts, I know a lot of-

Jeremy (16:43.582)

to do was like flexibility. That's a very big part of it and I would like to say my flexibility has definitely helped me out more in the fitness side with it when it comes to like range of motion. Like right now I'm in physical therapy for my ankle. When I noticed that range of motion was so limited I was like I think a lot of it has to do with flexibility. A lot of it had to do with um

you know, the weight training as well. Like my calves were not very strong, which is fine. Working on it right now. But that definitely had a big part in the fitness side. When it came to the fitness side of the martial arts, with the weight training, I noticed that my kicks were a lot stronger than what I was nine, 10 months ago. Standing with my arms, they're the size of the spaghetti needle. I have, there's nothing in my arms.

whatsoever. So that's something I've been working on as well. Just trying to just build muscle. I'm not looking to be like one of the bulk bodybuilders and there's no shame in that. But I'm not trying to be that person. Just having some type of lean muscle just to help. Especially when I'm throwing jabs and crosses, there's no weight behind it sometimes. So I feel like

it comes into play just helping me feel strong with if I made contact with someone it's gonna do something it's not just gonna be out there in the air just kind of hanging out. You mentioned that this the fitness side of things is relatively new. Did something happen that changed that? Did somebody say something or did you experience something that made you go, this is important? A little bit yeah I

Back in June, we were in Florida for a Superfoot conference. And one of my instructors, I was working out with him, he was my partner, and we were practicing hooks. And I'm doing it to his hand and doing a couple of them, and he asked me if I ever thought about...

Jeremy (19:00.406)

being in a professional fight, you know, in the ring and everything. And I was like, it's, I've always seen it. I've always loved watching it. Um, I just never thought that would be an opportunity. So when he asked me that I was, I kind of just jumped right in. I was like, absolutely. I would love to, I would love to give it a try, have fun with it, you know, expand my knowledge of what else I can do with it. Um,

So, he kind of gave me a phone call. We talked, tried to figure out what I can do to kind of get in shape, you know? And I was just like, when he said that, the first thing I was like, I need to go to the gym. I need to go get in shape for this. I need to do something besides just focusing on training. Like I need to do something else on the side. So, you know, I'm drinking gallons of water every day. I'm doing cardio, I'm doing lifting, I'm doing all these kicks and punches. I'm asking people to, you know,

Hit me so I can practice my defense, you know, I'm not allowed to hit you back So that kind of opened up my world when I was asked that I was like I would love to your why change The why your training change so your training had to change to reflect your life. Absolutely. Yeah, is there something planned? Is there a fight? there was that's when my Accident happened with my leg. I was training with a couple girls and

I think it was just because I was so tired from the day before, you know, that was like a 10 hour training day of just conditioning and just sparring the entire time, you know, doing all that and that was my body was so done. That was a very long time.

And the next day, you know, we were training with a couple of the girls With you know weight differences and all that stuff and different backgrounds with the martial arts And the girl I was facing Great defense. First of all, it was so hard to get a point on her. Like it was it was absolutely amazing and all I can really remember in that moment was that she threw a kick and I

Jeremy (21:11.436)

leg up too high so her kick went I don't even know how to describe it to you honestly because it's like if this was like my ankle joint like that's where it got hit and it was like a couple weeks before that like I already bruised my ankle because who doesn't love kicking people in the elbows? It's a daily thing so that's what I did I was a bruiser from before and I think just that kick kind of just made it snap. It was already suffering. Yeah yeah so it snapped.

That's what it felt like, honestly. Like I really was like, I kind of, when I, I think I like shut my eyes as soon as I felt the contact, I dropped to the mat and I was just like, I gotta sit out because my body is just so done. I could feel that like my foot froze in this position and was just not moving. Um, so, you know, I flew back home, uh, like the next day and I told my mom what happened. We went to get a couple of x-rays done.

and they were like, your ankle itself is not broken, which shocker, who the heck would have guessed that? But they were like, no, you have a hairline fracture on your fibula from like six months ago. And I'm like, so you're telling me I was walking on a broken leg on top of training on said broken leg and now I have an ankle problem. That's...

this point. So kind of just to sum all that up, that kind of stopped me from being able to do the fight, which you know what, it's perfectly fine, to be honest with you, because I felt like I might have rushed it. How far out were you from the fight at that point that happened? I was told that if I got in condition, it was in June. So from June until August, that would be my training period. And when did you get hurt? I got hurt in July.

lie. It was like right in the middle of it. You weren't that far off. A month-ish hour. Yeah so that kind of set me back but I'm kind of glad it did in a way just because I really felt like I rushed it which is fine I get it. You know I've asked a couple personal friends about you know who've done the fighting and everything in their lives and it they told me the same thing it sounded like I was rushing it. Why?

Jeremy (23:35.102)

I can only assume because I've never been in one. I've never been in a professional fight before, but I can only assume it's the mentality that you need to have when you're in that ring. And I think for me, it might've been, I don't wanna say overconfidence because I...

I do not have confidence when it came to that specific part of the martial arts. I, again, I've never done it before. I will gladly be humbled by, you know, getting punched in the face if my defense is wide open. That's fine. But I do believe there is a higher mentality that you need when you, you know, you get into the ring. You've got to have some confidence when you get in the ring. If you believe you're going to lose, you're pretty unlikely that you're going to win and even more likely to get hurt.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So I think just knowing that, again, I'm kind of glad I'm taking a step back. I'm really focusing on just making my technique better.

Um, just cause it's, I'm not, I'm considered like a counter fighter when I, you know, when I did tournaments, um, in the past and, you know, I'd always let the other person come to me first and then I would do whatever it is I'm going to do with this one. Like I, I needed to be more confident to make that first move to kind of catch the other person by surprise, you know, get them off their balance, get them off their game and not the other way around.

So kind of making that switch, it's still hard for me just because I'm just a counter fighter by heart.

Jeremy (25:12.702)

So that's what I've been kind of doing now with my training. I train with a bunch of guys that are kind of close to my hometown. And every time I see them, I'm always getting punched in the face. I'm always getting tagged somewhere in the belly. You know, I'm getting tagged all the time, but it's humbling because it's like, you know, yeah, your defense is not very good, you know? So this step back has been very good.

it's been hard for me mentally but um well when i when i was still in the boot it was right before i started physical therapy i kind of had a small depression period where i was just binge eating i was just you know i didn't want to move i didn't really want to go anywhere

Not even because I was in the boob, but I was just so upset. Well, your life changed dramatically and instantly. You went from goal and all this training towards that goal to not the goal and not the training. Yeah. And it wasn't because you wanted that change. No. That why was forced to change. Yeah. So I kind of lucked out because I had a really, really good friend of mine.

kind of stuck with me the whole time. You know, we called every day, made sure that I was okay, always asking, you know, what am I thinking, what's going through my head, you know, kind of just talk it out. So that really helped me out. And then when I started PT, it helped me out even more. I had more people to talk to about what I was thinking. And now, like I'm...

I thought I was making progress. Turns out I'm actually really not making progress. I'm kind of like stuck in this little zone where it's just like, no, you're doing everything, but you're pushing through it with pain. So I'm like, okay, that's not doing anything, which is fine. But I'm still, you know, I'm still doing all the exercises that I can. I'm getting a lot more.

Jeremy (27:22.594)

just second opinions just to see what else I can do, what else is going on. I am trying out a couple different stuff like with the chiropractor. I'm thinking about talking to someone about acupuncture too, just to see. I did dry needling, did not have a good experience with that.

But yeah, I'm just at this point, I'm just trying to think what else I can do to kind of get me back in the game almost. So yeah.

Jeremy (27:57.51)

you termed it as a period of depression. You obviously came out of that the way you're talking about it. Yeah. Okay, maybe not fully? Not fully. Okay. It was definitely a lot worse when, you know, I'm stuck, it's the middle of the summer and I can't go anywhere, you know, I can't do anything. I can't go swimming, I can't, you know, do a lot of things I wanna do with my friends. Because you're that boozled. Just- How long was that for?

I kept it on for about like a month and a half and then I got so tired of it because of how heavy it was I took it off which wasn't the smartest but the boot was mainly for my fibula to heal from the fracture that I had. It wasn't so much for my ankle.

and I noticed the very first day that I went to physical therapy with the boot, you know, I made a small bit of progress in PT, but once I put the boot back on, it immediately went back to where it was. So I'm like, you know what, we're just not going to wear this anymore. We're going to wear one of the compression sleeves that they have. So I just, I started wearing that and my progress...

was just exponentially huge as soon as I made that difference. Um, so as far as my little depression period kind of went, it was just when I was just in the boot before I even went to PT, like I was just, I just sat there really. I had, you know, I have my little Legos that I like to play with them, whatever, but like again, it was just eating, it was just watching TV, it was kind of just, just staying in my room.

Um, to say that I'm really out of it would be a lie, honestly, just because occasionally I do get that where I'm just like, I don't know what the heck I'm doing with my life. Um, and then it's just like, I get like little reminders about like why I'm there. Nine times out of ten it's because of the kids that I teach. The other half is because I love getting beat up by the other guys that I train with because it's just so much fun. You know, so, um, I have, I have my days where I love what I do.

Jeremy (30:05.622)

And then I have days where I'm just like, if I didn't do this, this wouldn't have happened. So to say that I'm really out of that depression period is kind of a lie, but it's not as bad as it was before. Like I know now I have a good support system now. Then...

I did before, or at that specific moment, not saying in general, but at that specific moment, I didn't think I had anybody that I could talk to about what was going on until now. And as you've talked to people, as you've hunted for answers, and I like the way that you're looking at this, because there are a lot of people who would say, oh, I guess this is how my body's gonna be forever.

Jeremy (30:56.83)

I don't think anyone should take that approach, let alone someone as young as you. I mean, you've got much more of your life in front of you than behind you. And I'm glad that you're going to keep looking for solutions and to the audience. Because I'm not a doctor. I'm not going to repeat the things that we've talked about my suggestions. Cause I have no formal medical training. So everything I say is irrelevant, but we've talked about some things that I think might be beneficial for you. Yeah, we'll see how that goes.

You talked about the kids. I did. The kids that you work with. And there's the first smile we've seen in a little bit. How deep are we in here? There's my time. So it's been a few minutes since you smiled. Yeah. And you're smiling when you think about working with them. Talk about that. There is such pain in my butt. But I love working with them. They're just... Why? There's so many people. I've got a bunch of people watching this or listening to this. Don't enjoy working with children.

It's definitely...

I believe it's a unique experience to have working with kids because you know you definitely have kids where it's just like I cannot stand you, I cannot teach you or you know I can't help you and then you have those where it's just like you're just too goofy to be here and honestly I would prefer just one to have like an open mind just being there. Like currently right now there's a little kid I was working with the other day and he's just dancing the whole time in the class and it's just the funniest thing because he's

He's so innocent. He kind of just looks around. Oh gosh. I think he's like seven or eight something like that Yeah, he's young but he's such a goofy kid constantly moving. Absolutely Yeah, he just he just moves around and I look at him. What are you doing? He's like having fun

Jeremy (32:45.706)

take it and I'll just walk away and that's fine do what you're doing you know keep training hard you'll be good he's just one example obviously but I definitely think that I just I love I love working with kids which is funny I really did not think I was going to at first. I'm glad you brought that up because that's not we we've had some conversations about

children and how you feel about them. And this is a bit countered to some of what we've talked about. So did that change? No. Were you looking at it differently? How do we reconcile those two things? For me, I love teaching kids. Just because I, not even because it's just like a short time period that I have with them, but I just, if I can be somewhat of an inspiration for them for that,

you know, 45 minutes or that one hour, whatever the case is, I'll take it. You know, if you're learning something from me, that's great, I'll take it. If you're having fun with me, that's even better. But as far as me having my own, I don't think I could. I think I would lose my mind. And I only say that just because I have, currently I have four brothers right now, and I lose my mind all the time with them. I can't. You spent a lot of time. Yeah.

as an older sibling, guiding to somewhat of a degree of parenting. Your brothers from a pretty young age. Yeah, yeah. So I think I kind of consider them my kids nine times out of ten. Just because. But teaching other kids, I can do that all day. That's perfectly fine with me. Because you can send them home. It's almost like the thing I hear grandparents say.

Jeremy (34:40.488)

You know if they drive you nuts you can just send them home to mom or dad Yeah, I have a lot of fun teaching with the kids because I know I can be my goofy self with them especially in The times that we're in now if you're not goofy with them, or you know, you're not having fun with them They're they were not gonna come back at all, so that's kind of just my perspective on

It's kind of like playing good cop bad cop with them sometimes. Are you both sides? No, I've been told I'm the bad cop. You're the bad cop? Yeah! Which was like really shocking but I was like, you know what, I'm proud of this bad cop moment I'm having. That's fine, you know?

But no, I just, I love having fun. I love poking at them a lot. Like I'll just do, you know, throw little jabs at them. I'll throw jokes at them and everything. You know, just make fun of them a little bit. And you know, they throw it back at me. So it's not just one sided, but they're having fun. I'm like, if you can have fun, you'll be good here. Yeah, we talked about it today. The importance of having fun before you can learn something. Yeah. We learned so much about it when we were having fun.

Yeah, absolutely. I love having fun. I do. So when we start to kind of put all these things that you're talking about together, right, we kind of come back from the circle. If this is your martial arts lifestyle, right, it's a love of new things, experimentation, fun, community, all that stuff. When we start to layer all that together.

What are you working on now? And I don't mean in terms of technique. In terms of techniques. I mean in terms of you. Because you've got, the things that you're talking about suggest a tremendous amount of self-awareness. And self-awareness that is.

Jeremy (36:45.75)

I don't even think I need to determine with respect to your age because I think you're more self-aware than most people ever are. So I'm guessing that you are aware of things that you are working on personal attributes that you would like to improve.

Jeremy (37:09.491)

It's not something I think about that often. Like I kind of just see what the day brings me almost and kind of just work towards it. The only thing I really want to work forward to is training hard, really. Because I felt like, you know, with all the ranks that I hold under my name.

You know, I really feel like I don't, I don't get to train as hard as I would like to almost. Because of your injury or? Not even because of my injury. I just feel like I took more of a teaching role now than I did as a train. And I don't really know the words for it, but you know, just like not being a student. Yeah, I do. I miss being a student sometimes. Um, and I think.

For me, I would like to be able to bring myself back up to when they first offered me to go into ring and fight. I'd love to be able to do that. Absolutely. I still do it to this day. Is that still a goal? Absolutely. Yeah, it's still a goal. The only limitation I have is trying to figure out what's going on with my injury. But personally, I just want to continue being stronger.

every day. I want to continue being stronger, just being in shape, not being lazy, which is a little hard to do right now, but that's okay. But yeah, that's really, and I mainly, I want to be an inspiration for the students that I teach, which, I mean, if you asked me that question like six, seven years ago, I would not have said that at all.

Like I would have just been there. I just want to train and that's it. But I...

Jeremy (39:00.714)

realized now that I have been an inspiration for a lot of the students currently. Especially some of the past students that I've taught before. There's there was one of them who stopped by yesterday when I was teaching and I was like I haven't seen you in years. He's like yeah you know I'm a sophomore in college now and I just came by to say hi and see how you guys are doing. I was like what did that mean?

Honestly, that made me feel old. When I heard he was in college, I was like, there is no way this little boy is in college now. He's just taller than me. And I was just like, oh my god, like the fact that...

You know, because before, same thing, he was a goofy kid. Him and his brother, you know, they just they were rolling around laughing, you know, knocking each other over. He is in college now. He is going, what is he going for? A bachelor's degree in engineering or something like that.

his brother, sophomore in high school, is playing soccer for Spain or something like that. And I'm just like, okay, the fact that we taught you, we were an inspiration to where you guys are now, unbelievable. That's amazing. So knowing that now, like I would...

I want to continue being an inspiration for the kids. I want to be able to show them this is what you could do if you would like to. This is what you could be doing. So for me, I just want to keep training. I just want to have fun and continue with that.

Jeremy (40:38.838)

is what's in the way of you training more for yourself? What's in the way of you spending more time as a student?

I think sometimes I'm a hard head. I think that's what it is. Cause sometimes I don't want to listen. Like I, well, that's just a personal thing. But sometimes I just don't want to listen and I kind of want to just like do it on my own almost. Like that's kind of, I'll use one of the super foot testings as an example. I think I was testing for my second degree underville. And I believe the testing was helpful.

New Hampshire I believe it was Terry's event I think. I think you were you and Paul were sitting on the sidelines yeah um and when I when I was getting ready for that testing you know I asked Paul to you know help me out tell me if I look good or not and as soon as I said that I started doing my own thing immediately I just kind of stopped listening and I felt so bad

because he was kind of just like, what are you doing? And I'm like, I'm not listening to you. I'm just going to do what I think was right. So I think even though I asked him. Yeah. So I think even though he's your tech one instructor, even though he's my instructor, even though he's my stepfather, I kind of just stopped listening. I'm like, I'm done. Yeah, I don't need to anymore. I'm just on my own. Um, but I think that.

kind of limits me sometimes of being a student because sometimes I don't want to listen even though I know I need to listen sometimes just because I know if I'm doing something wrong like I'd rather you yell at me tell me hey dad is 100% wrong then kind of just like babying around it I'd rather you just tell me stop this is what you need to fix not go do it I'd rather have someone do that

Jeremy (42:39.946)

honestly. So that kind of limits me sometimes when it comes to my personal training, especially when it comes to my forms or doing self-defense or even just a regular technique. Sometimes I'm like, no, this is, this is right. This is what it feels to be correct. Not the way that you're telling me, even though it's a tip, even though it may help me in the future or whatever, I still don't want to listen. So it's definitely something I need to work on.

moving forward to working on that but that's kind of one thing that limits me.

Jeremy (43:16.726)

Where does that come from? The not listening part? Yeah. Cause admittedly I've experienced this. Yeah. We've had enough conversations and I think we know each other well enough to know that you're pretty authentic when we have a conversation, right? You're you, you know, I remember when you first met me, you know, I got a little bit of a sanitized version of who Daniel is. Yeah. But now I get the real you.

and there are times where I can see you check out. Yeah. You know, where, you know, if you were a little bit younger, I'd chalk it up to, you know, stubborn teenager. Yeah. I think I used to categorize myself as like a pushover when I was younger.

You know, I did a lot of favors for a lot of people that just wasn't for myself. And I think now looking back and realizing that, it's kind of just like, dude, what are you doing? Why did you do that? You did not need to do that for those people because they're not doing anything to help you now. Not at all. So I think that's kind of where my...

non-listening or you know just stop listening in general kind of came from. Maybe over correction. Yeah. From push over to stubborn. Yeah so I can definitely say that some people have 100% called me a stubborn person which is fine. I'd rather be a stubborn person than a push over. So I think that's kind of where it came from. My mom can probably confirm this observation as well. I definitely can't just stop listening.

sometimes, not even because I don't want to hear it, but a lot of it I think is just because I don't want to hear the excuses that come behind why some things are being done. But yeah, really I think a lot of it came from just who I was when I was going through school. I...

Jeremy (45:29.726)

Yeah, I was used a lot, which is fine. But it was just, I think I was just too nice, really. A lot of us go through that. Yeah, yeah, I think it's a common thing for everybody. It's just, you're just too nice, which it's not bad. It's just, I don't think I realized it until now. There's a level of how nice you should be. But yeah.

Jeremy (46:00.278)

So what's next? Let's assume, hopefully I'm gonna continue to talk to you, but let's pretend we circle back up and do this again in say five years. You know, your foot has healed, right? You found the solution there and we're talking and I say, hey, what's happened in the last five years? Tell the audience. What things would you be hoping you would tell them? I want...

I would hope I'd be able to tell them my experiences if I... Be specific. Yeah, specifically more with the fighting. I really want to get back into that because I think that would definitely help me out as a person confidence wise too and just the fact that I'm a girl. I think that would help me out a lot. Say more about that. So...

I used to consider myself a tomboy, to be honest with you. You know, I would try to have like my emo phase and try to be like more masculine and everything. And then, what was it? I think it was high school. I think I was a sophomore or a junior in high school. I realized that like, no, that's not happening, Danielle. Not at all. Like that's not gonna happen.

you're a girl. Not even like you have to act like a girl but it's just like no like you're a girl. You're not a boy. You can't do what boys do or a lot of it you can't do what boys do. So I think knowing that kind of has like a big influence on what I do next kind of. So I want to

be one of those inspirations for other girls, kind of like how everyone else that we know in the martial arts world, a lot of them are women. They do all these amazing things. And I would like to be able to be kind of a part of that in a way. Like I don't wanna be one of like the big name stars, like that's a little too much for me. But I would like to be considered one of those women that is an inspiration for others.

Jeremy (48:19.09)

So I think that's kind of what I would like to do next as well as far as the fighting goes. Showing that like you can be a girl and do all this stuff. You know you can be skinny and look the way that I do and you can still do all this stuff. Because I'll be honest with you like I forgot who I was talking to. I was talking to another person about this. And she kind of looked at me and she was like but you're so

Skinny you don't have like an ounce of meat on you to be able to do half the stuff that you've kicked me Yeah So I think that kind of like gave me a step back cuz I was just like I it shouldn't be a problem I know other women who are you know, just as fit as I am

and look what they're doing now. You know? So it kind of, that kind of opened up my mind a little bit about like, what, what else can I prove? I guess is the word I'm looking for. What, what can I prove as a girl or as a woman for the next generation, whatever the case is. So yeah.

Jeremy (49:36.106)

Are you on social media? People want to follow you and track your journey? Absolutely, yeah. I'm on...

Facebook and Instagram my Facebook has The Milholland last name that's the only difference of people get confused by that just to let you know I go by two different last names on social media Yeah For Facebook. I am known as I believe it's Danielle Milholland And then on Instagram I am at Danny dot M

Jeremy (50:14.16)

I'm not really on Snapchat anymore so I would say use that. Is anyone on Snapchat anymore? I have no idea. I feel like it. But yes, I'm on those two so. Good.

Jeremy (50:29.182)

I'm gonna do a quick outro in a moment, but how do you want to leave things with the audience? Actually, you know what? I'm gonna do the outro and then you're gonna close us up. We'll do it that way. So, to the audience, follow Danielle. Make sure you're following Whistlekick at Whistlekick everywhere you can think of. Check out Whistlekick.com. Check out Whis We even got a Facebook group where we go a bit deeper. We talk about the episodes. If you have feedback, we always want to hear. If you have guests or topic suggestions, we want to hear those too.

I appreciate you being here. Thank you for having me. The in-person stuff is always a little more fun. Yeah.

It's always enjoyable when I get to sit down with someone I know and like, and make them talk about themselves in a way that they would never, if there wasn't a camera or a microphone in front of them. Absolutely, yeah. No, I appreciate you having me on here. I'm glad I got to share my story with everybody. Hey, if you have questions, just DM me, whatever. Send me a message on Messenger, and I'll ask questions, but yeah, thank you.

Do you have any final thoughts for them? You want to send them out on something to consider? Keep kicking, train hard, have fun, make sure you laugh a lot, and that's the end.

Jeremy (51:50.241)

Thank you.