Episode 658 - Mr. Steven Matulewicz
Mr. Steven Matulewicz is a Martial Arts practitioner for 35 years in various disciplines.
There are 2 distinct mindset sometimes when we’re dealing with Martial Arts and why people are training. For me, it’s always about defending myself or defending other people more than any other aspect of Martial Arts.
Mr. Steven Matulewicz - Episode 658
Being bullied as a kid and watching Bloodsport; we all know what happens next. Mr. Steven Matulewicz became angry and frustrated with the negativity the bullies are inflicting on him and his friends, so he turned to Martial Arts. Having watched the movie Bloodsport, Mr. Matulewicz realized that there are a lot of disciplines that can be studied within the Martial Arts.
In this episode, Mr. Steven Matulewicz tells the story of his Martial Arts journey and how it became his “way out.”
Show Transcript
You can read the transcript below.
Jeremy Lesniak:
How's it going everybody? Welcome. This is whistlekick Martial Arts Radio episode 658. My guest today is Steven Matulewicz. My name is Jeremy Lesniak, I host the show I founded whistlekick. Why? Well, because I love traditional martial arts and I wanted to make and do some martial arts stuff and make some martial arts friends. And here we are quite a few years later. And that's what we're doing. If you want to go deeper and see the whole gamut of things that we're working on, go to whistlekick.com, you're going to find links to all the products, the projects, the services, the things that we do as an organization, to add depth, context value to your life as a martial artist. One of the things you'll find over there, well, it's our store. It's one of the ways we pay the bills here, because you didn't notice. You didn't pay for this show. But we still have to cover expenses, like hosting and all that good stuff. Well, I'll make you a deal. If you take a look at the store, whistlekick.com, find yourself a shirt or some protective equipment or something else that makes you happy. Use the code PODCAST15, it'll save you 15%. And we all win.
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My guest today has a journey. We all have a journey. And of course, here we are on Martial Arts Radio, we are talking about a martial arts journey. But this journey is a little bit different. And yet, it's not. You know, we hear about a particular. Well, a few particular aspects of Steven’s life is training that I think is far more common than we realize and we talk about. And I say that based on the experience of hosting the show and talking to people before and after and on the side. And I really enjoyed this conversation. I'm sure you will too. And I'm not going to say any more. I'll see you in the outro. Hey, Steven, welcome to whistlekick Martial Arts Radio.
Steven Matulewicz:
Thank you for having me.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Yeah, thanks for coming on. Thanks for doing this. You know, it's when people come on the show, at the very least they're giving of their time and I'm always super appreciative of that. But let's be real, it's not hard to get a martial artist to want to talk about martial arts. Especially when the majority of us are surrounded by people who aren't martial artists and, you know, don't want to hear us talk about it anymore. Does that describe you?
Steven Matulewicz:
Um, yes and no. I do enjoy about martial arts to people that like to do martial arts, I just have a very large range of what that means. Well, I've done for, just to explain, I'm 51 years old. I've been doing martial arts for about 35 years of various forms. I've also included in the definition of martial arts, I've done different forms of weapons combat, that are also European based. So, you know, again, it depends on still who you're talking or also, you know, I take a long time to warm up to people sometimes.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Well, it's a good thing. This isn't five or ten minutes show them. We got plenty of time. That's right, you got plenty of time, we probably won't break the record. The record is somewhere like three and a half to three hours and 45 minutes. That's crazy long, we won't be able to do that I've got. But I think by the time we would get through that, there's two other interviews that I'm doing today. So, we don't have that much time. But we got plenty of time, more than enough time, I'm sure for us to talk about your journey. So, let's, let's talk about your journey. And let's talk about the beginning of your journey. You said, you gave us your age, and you gave us a rough amount of time you've been training. So, it sounds like you started as a teenager, which not a lot of people start as teenagers. What's the story? They're like, like, why? Why did you start training as a teenager?
Steven Matulewicz:
Well, there were a lot of different factors. So of course, he ended that. You know, as a kid, I was bullied a lot, I was the person that in my class, if you wanted to pick on someone, it was probably means I tend to be very emotional. I was very bright. The teachers tend to pick on me, because I will not pick on me, but would choose me in class, because, you know, I enjoyed learning. And for that, I usually was the person that was considered the outcast that anybody could pretty much pick up. That's really where it starts. It's like that happened to me as of first grade. And by the time I got into middle school, and this is the, you know, 70s into the 80s. So martial arts, how to fight those kinds of things really wasn't discussed, there really wasn't around. I mean, obviously, we've had, you know, there are movies, and you know, Bruce Lee was in the 60s and into the 70s. And so, there was exposure, but like, you know, for basically suburbs, Massachusetts, you know, in the 70s, to 80s, there really wasn't a lot of talk, there really wasn't a lot of exposure. So, for somebody like me, there was no way of seeming to deal with all of these negative attacks and things from my peers. So, you know, it was very difficult. And what got me into that change was, you know, over time, I became very angry and frustrated with just dealing with my peers on hold. And to the point where flashing forward, up until about the 10th grade. That's really where it became pivotal, where I realized that all of this, all of this experience, all of this anger, all this frustration of not being able to somehow take care of myself, defend myself, or at least be accepted with my peers.
That came to a point where I actually had started developing friends, and somebody who was very often bullying me started to bully my friends. And I actually mentally set, I got angry, I started to attack this gentleman. And I almost put them in the hospital. I was so angry that I didn't realize I was screaming at the time. Apparently, he was like, hitting me with like a tennis racket that he had in his hand, and I didn't feel it. And my understanding and comprehension of that experience from that time, all the others. One, I never want to do that. Again, I don't want to suddenly snap and have all this emotion come through and be give me this lack of control. And second of all, I have no idea at the time, I was still like putting my phone inside my fist so that we like to slip dislocate my thought that kind of thing. And so, I realized at that moment that I really needed to learn how to not control the master my emotions and also master my body. And within the same month or so, two things happen. One was I saw the movie Bloodsport. Classic. And would that show me... I mean, there was a line as to what martial arts was, again at the time, but what Bloodsport did for me realize that there are lots of styles, there are lots of ways to get involved with learning how to defend yourself, or how to compete and this was very exciting stuff.
What happened was, I went to a new barber, for me. And my barber happened to be an instructor for Shaolin Kung Fu. And he didn't have like a storefront. He didn't have like, any real advertisement, it was all word of mouth. He was doing it out of his basement. And, you know, I admitted to him some frustrations that I was having, and some of the things that have been happening to me. So, he invited me into his dojo. And that's really where it started. And that, for me was in the process is trying to improve my body, improve my mind improve how I am interacting with the world. So that's, I think that answered most of what you said. But yes, that's really the start of things is that I felt in a very dark place, and martial arts was my way out. And, like, pretty much haven't stopped since. I mean, that's the other thing, like, the journey has been so Rocky, it's like, you know, over the years, it's like, I've gone to work. Specifically for different disciplines. I've trained with people like, at least another half dozen people often on over the years, like, when I'm between like, different, different dojos. And, you know, I've just been meeting people, multiple styles, multiple ways of training, multiple ways of doing things. And it's, and in many ways, it's been great, but it's also frustrating.
Jeremy Lesniak:
I'm sure, I'm sure. You, you just put a lot of stuff on the table, we could probably do a series of conversations just spidering off of what you talked about. But I think the piece I want to dig into, is this notion that you were maybe not okay, maybe not comfortable, but accepting of harassment. Until that harassment extended to people you cared about. That was a tipping point for you. That's where you snapped. Have you spent any time exploring that and thinking about why that was the straw for you?
Steven Matulewicz:
Yes. Yeah. I mean, I, it's like I as a person, and I like to think of myself as an introverted extrovert in that I feel that a lot of my situations over the years seem to force me into this tendency to basically push it in, look at everything inward. When I connect with someone with something, I put all of my energy and all of my emotion into trying to be with that person. And you know, at that time, like I said, I was developing friends, I was it difficult to, for me, but I thought to be able to even hold on to somebody and to have somebody who's supporting me and showing that back to me. I didn't want to lose that. I didn't want that level of suffering to start to happen to other people. You know, I can take it. I don't want them to have it.
Jeremy Lesniak:
How did those friends respond after this event?
Steven Matulewicz:
Mixture of things. They partially say I got a little scary I've never been that angry that was crazy. You know, and on top of that, you know, the person was actually a little upset because I came to their defense. They can defend themselves just fine. You know, but over time, you know, it's like it didn't really impact our friendship at all. You know, I didn't help the friendship or anything like that. It was something that happened.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Now, when you started training, because if I got my time's right, you started training after that, right? Yes, I'm not okay. How long in between?
Steven Matulewicz:
I would say that timing wise that maybe it was like a month or so after that, maybe two months. It's so long ago.
Jeremy Lesniak:
But fairly close after that. When you think about that specific event, but also, I think more importantly, the mindset from which it came, I mean, I can relate to what you're talking about, for someone to, you know, point fingers at me say things to me even, you know, maybe put their hands on me, in a less than ideal, but not quite violent way. I had a long history of turning the other cheek on that. But when I think back on high school as well, you know, similar age, the moment people started touching my friends, okay, well, now, this is where I'm in your face. And it's good to and so, when you started training, was that protector mindset? Was that an asset? Or was that a liability as you work through your martial arts training?
Steven Matulewicz:
I'll be honest, that I'm not. I'm not sure how much faster it was. Because what impacted me on that moment, was this complete shift of emotion into this, this total chaos where I literally, physically couldn't feel pain. While that was, while that was occurring, that overload into emotional chaos was frightening for me to become this thing that could just simply let loose. So, my focus at the time, and a lot of my, my initial martial arts training, was in a way to understand my mentality and understand my physicality, and eventually also incorporated into being a protector and being able to protect my friends in situation and be able to be have to be to be present and be able to interact in such a way that I can do something to help defend or keep people from being in from suffering or being hurt. And that, of course, incorporates into it. But the main thing for me was to take this thing, this emotional chaos, and I'm going to mention that a lot of times, it's still how I usually describe what's going on.
And I'm sure by taking that and being able to find a way to not control it. But master, I mentioned that a lot too, I find that the word controlling or to have control over something is a really hard work in English. Because a lot of the times we approach control incorrectly, when we're dealing with dealing with ourselves, you know, in martial arts in the sense that a lot of the times like when you when you get angry all you have to get control of your emotions. A lot of people when they think that they mentally like literally try to squeeze that emotion shut so that there's nothing that is shoved down. And that's not healthy actually. So, I try to very specifically say no, you need to master it, acknowledge it, have it and work with it so that it is not overloading you're not controlling you and be able to move back to a more mindful way of working.
Jeremy Lesniak:
So, you're training, you're in there. And yeah, I'm sure just about anybody listening can get a sense as to what training looks like, right? We may all do different martial arts and train differently, but there's still some pretty consistent core elements about the way martial arts are trained. So, you're going along, and what's the first I guess, milestone or place along your path with your training? That you know, we want to dig into you know, is it a few months in a few years in? What's going on there?
Steven Matulewicz:
Well, the milestones are the thing that was I think the most difficult to, to handle it's like, over time has really been that life tends to get the life sometimes. In this case, it's like, I thought the school was great. I was having problems, for example, like, he had a probably, it was his basement. So it wasn't, there was no real good air down there. So as for somebody who was not really athletic at the time, I was having some, you know, some breathing problems, because it was just a lot down there, that kind of thing. But, you know, I was making it through as I was getting through it, I was starting to gain that self-confidence. And understand that, you know, even though this was hard, I could get through it. But about six or eight months into it, and I was starting to really get going with it and really enjoying it, he ended up moving to Hawaii. And when that happens, of course, he passed his school over to the some of the black belts that are in studio. But I didn't have the same connection with those people. And it became very difficult for me to train at that point. So, over the years, part of what has gotten me to train, or try a different style is not necessarily the martial artists, it's so much as how well I can connect and through work with the instructor. And that's been a part of a sort of a struggle over time for that. So, to answer your question, though, I have to really flash to my early 30s. So about maybe 15 years later, I had been thrifting. In and out, like I said, I met a lot of different martial artists over that time, and I would train a little bit that that would go away, or I was in college.
So, I'd have to learn again where I could do this. And I ended up going, moving into Milford, Massachusetts. And it turns out that there was a studio that was literally like a block. And [00:22:49-00:22:51] ran the studio was an amazing, vibrant person that was really engaged with her martial arts. In this case, it was at Parker American temple. And what I, what for me, just got me completely hooked at that point, is that part of my frustration with learning was that I always have question, well, why am I doing this? I mean, like, why am I throwing a punch this way? Why am I kicking this way? What does this do? And part of what she did, and apparently what Parker was very insistent upon, was explaining that why, and it was something that was missing in a lot of experiences before then. Even my first training. He was an excellent man, Shifu Isaac was amazing. But he also had the philosophy as well, you'll learn over time. You know, it's like, do it just try to do it this way? Well, it's actually a little bit different. So no, I did it exactly the same way. But you're just observing. Okay, but I still don't understand why I'm doing this. And, and it wasn't until that time where we would literally sit down and say, Okay, we're going to break down the kata that we're doing, we're going to talk about what why do we punch this way? Why is this other style punch slightly different. And that was what really got it for me, it was a lot of me to ingrain it in my mind as to how I can move how I want to be able to be able to defend myself to be able to do the martial arts.
Jeremy Lesniak:
If we're talking about that transition that roughly well not transition that time passage at 15 years. And, you know, you've said yourself about being in and out of various schools, various styles, and certainly some people look at that and they look down on that. I'm absolutely not one of them. Anybody who listens to this show knows the Fed is not my view, I believe firmly that cross training or even if it's just trying to find the right school for you is far more valuable than just digging routes into a place that doesn't work for you. What were you finding from this, this movement is shifting around from one school to the next was? Was there joy in new these new opportunities? Or something else? Now, how were you how being you feeling as you started at these new places,
Steven Matulewicz:
There's always some form of nervousness like, like, when we were talking at the beginning here, it's that unknown of, how's this going to go, is always difficult for me. So, I mean, there's always that into it. But the thing for me is, when I am training, and, and even then, is when I started to develop is, everything in the world drops away. What becomes my world is, that is the school or the trainer at that moment, and I spend, you know, the hour to two hours a day working with this person are working with the group. And all I'm doing is focusing on these things that I know are going to help me or possibly help my environment. And all the things I have to worry about in the world, whether it's my tests, or you know, in school, or my work, or money matters, all these, none of that matters, none of it equates into anything, my mind is at peace, as I go through whatever I'm doing with them. And that calm in my head is and has always been if I can achieve that, with that person, I know that is where I should be at that. And that was pretty much how I, I saw into this, I am where I am, because I need to be here. And that to get to whatever my next step in life is, I should go through this. And try to stay within that now. So that I can move forward into whatever my next journey.
And so, if I'm with that instructor for an hour and only an hour, then that is an hour well spent. And that the critical thing for me is to make sure that that time is valuable for myself and for everybody involved. But yeah, that's pretty much it, I never got caught up in, you know, I need to you know, I need to stick with Shaolin Kung Fu, I need to learn, you know, Gōjū-ryū was a big thing at my college. But, you know, it's like, I never got into trying to do it, you know, that way or that my mentality was such that I just got really involved in this one school or this one, discipline. And that sort of goes with my mindset series, I tend to, as you can see, I tend to ramble, I tend to be interested in a lot of things. And being able to see that in martial arts, how varied it is, and be able to walk through that actually was very exciting. That I wasn't, I didn't feel like I was caught up in one thing that I always have to do. The disadvantage, of course, is that I haven't really excelled in any given discipline to a higher level. I've never actually gotten a black belt in any discipline that I've tried, because of how long I've been with it because of various situational problems that I've had. That kind.
Jeremy Lesniak:
You said something that I think, initially for a lot of people may sound paradoxical. This idea that you're shifting around, you're moving from, you know, one style to another, and you're okay with that. And yet, during that time, when you're training, you didn't use these words, but I'm going to all in your present. You're embracing where you are, as I described as where you are supposed to be. And I really like that, because I think that that's a pretty solid attitude that any of us can look at and try to bring into the rest of our lives, you know, be open to change to flux to shifts, because they're always going to be there. But yet, try to remain grounded, at least for a bit where you are.
Steven Matulewicz:
Yeah, I mean, when I stopped taking the Parker Kindle, there was a lot going on in my life I had moving states over the years, and I tried to find, for example, another park or school. But again, it became the situational thing where I can, as much as I want to be there, as much as I want to try this salary dedicated a stallion make that goal in my head of being able to get to, you know, a black belt level of discipline. It's not always possible to you know, as it is, you know, in New England, you know, to get some of the major jobs, it's like, I'm driving three and a half to four hours a day. And if I have to train, like two to three times a week, for example, and my school or a school is an hour away one way, that's really hard, and it's really hard to, you know, basically, you know, have wife have son, as I do now, and be able to not dedicate time and focus on my family, which is also very important. And also, it becomes, it sounds like, also, at the top of all this account, it's a matter of convenience. But it's very important that if you're going to be doing anything that you know, you'll be able to, again, be authorized to use your term to be all in all parts of your life. You know, I got married, I'm always... I have a son, I'm all in on, I need time to be with them. As much as I want to be all in and continue to be honored for karate, or Shaolin, or just general martial arts. I still need to make sure that I've got time for sure, sure.
Jeremy Lesniak:
But you're all in on life. We've all got the same. But we've got to carve it up based on our priorities. And if you have family and training and job and, you know, anybody listening is likely nodding along saying, I struggle with this, I want to train more, but where do I find the time? Right? Right. And it's not a judgment, we've all got to, you know, we get our one shot at this, we've got to put these pieces in an order. That makes sense for us, it doesn't mean you can't change them at any given time, you can, but we still have to have some faith that that the arrangement is sensible.
Steven Matulewicz:
You know, now talking with you about this, I realized that the reason why Shifu Isaac went to Hawaii all those years ago. He learned that there was some style of come through he did not know that there was a master on the other main island that he wanted to go and train with. And that's why he was mainly gone. So, in that, in that respect, it's like I'm realizing that that's sort of what I'm doing is that I am everything that I'm doing, it's you can, of course, become the person you need to be staying within your discipline. But at the same time, you also need to know when you need to expand beyond that, or that you can extend beyond. Now, the nice thing about these days is like, you know, I live in an area where there are literally dozens of different martial arts schools around here. And that's pretty early on when I started doing what's the case. But for now, I just started to try to learn before COVID happen, Wing Chun. And the main reason why are the two reasons why I'm in the main one about my point here is that I saw Wayne Chung as an excellent extension to whatever discipline you have. It's very for me, it's a very different style. And it what it has to offer can help make you a better martial artist in that you have expanded your investment portfolio in martial arts.
We try to point at point blank range fighting for the most part. Not a lot of the times we're dealing with range, dealing with power we're dealing with, with different types of defensive focus, how we're moving our body, or whatever. But a lot of that point blank range lighting is not something I've really ever experienced or seen in other martial arts, I'm sure that will happen. But for me, in my situation, I'm like, you know what, I really want to add this. So, I've been trying to do that. And once things are a little bit better with COVID, I will be going back to school. Because I really want to know that I can see all the videos I want, I can, you know, watch various movies, with people, they know how to do that. And that's great, but since it's designed is to be able to use your opponent's motion against them and be able to actually feel how they move as you move. You need to be in contact. So COVID makes that a little.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Sure. Yeah, we are in a very weird time. And obviously, it affects everything. You know, we talk about it a bit on this show. Because I think I think the problem in if you look at it the right way can also be the solution. You know, I I don't know what the solution is, you know, to the broader thing. I don't, you know, that's a little bit outside my scope. But I think for those of us look into training, there's always there's always a way, it's always a way, a way forward. And so, when you look at all of these options, you mentioned that I think even near where you are now you've got more options, and you could probably ever reasonably put some time into how do you choose? How do you decide where you want to try? And what school is worth investing some of your time and money, energy.
Steven Matulewicz:
And then for me, it comes back to the train. When I was in this area, my son was born. And I'm like, you know, I really finally acknowledge him eventually. But myself. I went around to a lot of schools, I emailed them, and just to hear how they presented themselves and try to talk to some of the instructors. And I ended up picking a school in class towel. So that because again, of the person, I talked to the instructor, again, he was very energetic, very knowledgeable, and was very engaging with me in that conversation. And that had a lot to do with why I ended up staying there for as long as it did. It's been fine. The setting. I think there sounds nine now and I started moving closer, closer, closer fights. So yeah, I mean, that's and that's how I ended up thinking it's just haven't been able to have that kind of relationship with the instructor or with the school. You know, I was able to bond with a couple of people in the class that were great. You know, and they were also very engaged in what we're learning. We're working hard. Okay, sure. This is where I want to be. Well, it's not too much of an impact on drive. It's not that far away.
So, let's do that. Some schools, some schools these days, a lot of their teaching curriculum or not, so people might need and that also was something that was difficult. I know that from you know, again, it's back at school. We also were talking about, you know, you know what I become eventually become an instructor when I start my own school. So, I also learned a lot about what it takes to do that. So, I also get it. There are a lot of different methods for developing school and a lot of the focus is on very young kids or up to the age of teenagers and after that it sort of just disappears, a lot of it or at least from my foot. perspective, that's the way I would agree. You know, so that was also part of the Department problems, they look at a website or talk to the person, and they're really almost, almost discouraging me from trying to join because they are so geared to the other people. So, you know, it's like, again, it's a matter of, you know, when I'm talking to them, or when I'm there, that I can see that somebody now, myself in the 50s can be comfortable being 60 they're the greatest thing. One of the greatest things about the Wing Chun class was almost everybody in that class was like, my age.
Jeremy Lesniak:
That's not common. Why do you have any have any insight as to what it was about that class that attracted folks your age?
Steven Matulewicz:
I obviously can't talk for everybody in the class, from my perspective. It is because again, it is something that has been put forward as a self-defense that is good or easier for older people. Because it is using this you know, it's not, there's not a lot of, you know, there's not like, you know, any kind of athletic jumps or kicks or, or anything along down so that somebody who is older, and get into it easier, and can get very far. And maybe that's part of I also noticed that a lot of the people that were in the class, not only older, but they were also that's, and it made me interested in the mindset of Wing Chun in that. I wonder or I theorize whether, the people in the class were there to learn how to defend themselves, too. And not just there's been looking, I've been talking to some people that there's two distinct mindsets, sometimes when we're dealing with martial arts or why people are training. For me, it's always been about defending myself, or defending other people, more than any other aspect of martial arts, and I have a feeling that that's, at least that's the vibe that I got off in that class is that all these people were there to learn how to better defend yourself when you're getting older, when you're getting slower. When you're starting to have physical disabilities, this type of martial arts can help you. And I think that's great.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Right on. Now, you mentioned the idea of opening a school, and whether or not you did, when I talked to people about opening a school, the part that I find most interesting is how they would put their own personal stamp their own philosophy of their martial training into that school. So, if you'd indulge me if you had a school, and I was to show up as a prospective student, what might I noticed that isn't necessarily revolutionary, or dramatically different. But if I was to watch, you know, a couple classes go away, and someone said, hey, Jeremy, what did you think of Steven? And I described it, what would I be describing? What would I see there?
Steven Matulewicz:
I would hope that what you would describe would be something to the effect of the level of engagement of the instructor to the students. A lot of the times in order to be able to try to convey as much information as possible to get people to be to be working on different types of philosophical philosophies or to be working on their bodies working in their mindset, or you start to get into this curriculum to this way of just trying to teach everyone in exactly the same way. So that you can try to get everybody the same experience. I find that is very beneficial in many ways. But for somebody like me, that has had some difficulties mentally, and also, because people are different people do have different choices in different ways that you do have to learn how to not only adapt the martial arts to whatever your situation is, but the instructor has to listen and learn how to adapt how they're instructing to the person that they're teaching. And so that would be my hope is that that desire for that engagement with the instructor, which I've always had, I would hope that at least, that would be what I would convey to you that you would feel like you came from that class, my man, he was great. He showed me all these things. I had these questions, and he was right there to answer them. And he had an awesome answer, or he was able to look, look in his notes here, we'll find it to deal with my questions. Definitely.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Sounds like a great place, sound like some place I would trade. Do you think you would open a school? Is that on the horizon?
Steven Matulewicz:
My situation is such at this point that I probably my job at the moment desires a lot of travel. And that is actually one of the reasons why I don't have a school right now. I was I was offered to essentially co teach at a school in Londonderry a long time ago. And I agreed to that. And it didn't go through because I shifted to this job where I'm spending, you know, at the time I was spending literally months away, I can't do that. If my situation changed in such a way where I could, I know that I would be home all the time. What I consider having a school, sure. But then it comes down to well, what am I going to be teaching? And I essentially creating my own form of martial arts, should I get to a level of distinction in a certain form? So, I can say, well, yeah, I have a black belt, you know, in this form, I also know all these other things. This is what I want to want to offer you is this this diverse style. You know, if I could do something like that, that would be good. I still have that mental hurdle in my mind that I want to have that level of distinction. And discipline before I even considered that.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Makes sense. I'm with you.
Steven Matulewicz:
But at the same time, you know, I've had talks to people about that, at the same time. That's also a roadblock that I got in my head, oh, I need to wait until I'm here. But it's something I really want to do. Is that really valuable? You know, do I have the skill to actually bring this bring this about? Do I? Do I need to actually wait, what, you know why? Why is this such a problem? You know, why is that fertile? Why don't I just do it?
Jeremy Lesniak:
If I may, I'm going to speculate that there are probably two things going on there one. Despite your experience in your time in, there are people who would point at your admission, you have not earned a black belt. And that doesn't bother me, I'll learn from anybody. I don't I don't care, what you're doing. And we see that now in some Brazilian jujitsu schools, where the day-to-day operations of a class might be run by a brown, purple, or I've even heard of some classes being run by blue belts. And I see nothing wrong with that. To me, if someone has knowledge that I don't have, I don't care how much more knowledge they have, if you have one thing you can show me that I can learn from I'm all in. You know, if I go to, I don't have children. But let's say I had children, would I expect all of my children's kindergarten teachers to have masters or PhDs in education?
No, I expect that they can show compassion to the five-year old, and help them with naptime and keep them from cutting each other's hair off, right? Like, I think depending on where you are, that bar shifts and should shift. And then the second piece that I think might be applicable to you and kind of interests me is the ability or desire to share information related to anything in this case, martial arts isn't necessarily tied down to a formal school. I don't have a formal school. But I'm going to guess that there are quite a few people listening who have learned something from my efforts with whistle kick and this show and, you know, other stuff that we've done, because I don't have a conventional school that, at least for now, does not work for me. Maybe in the future, but I still like to share what I know and what I think about.
Steven Matulewicz:
Sometimes that's all. It's important to guess is not to have brick and mortar place to, to experience whatever it is that we're talking about. It's a matter of two people at least getting together and being able to say, “Okay, let's do this”.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Exactly at that is you sum that up beautifully. So, let's talk about the future then if it's not a school, or may not be, you know, regardless, let's put that piece aside. You know, you've brought up your age a couple times, you know, you've still got plenty of good years left, that's for sure. It doesn't sound like you're someone who's going to reach any kind of milestone, whether it be rank or age or something else and say, you know, I don't want to do this anymore. It sounds like you're a lifer. And that's a good thing in my mind. So, what might the future hold? Where do you want to go with your martial arts?
Steven Matulewicz:
That's very good question. I don't tend to think very far as future. Because of my attempts for myself to try to have a mindful way of living to try to live more now than in the future, I don't normally contemplate the questions like what are you going to do five years from now? I don't know, breathe, I hope.
Jeremy Lesniak:
That's the best answer. For that. I've asked that question. A few times, dad is the best answer I've ever heard.
Steven Matulewicz:
Yeah, it's like, you know, I have always thought that what would be great would, you know, is to be able to not just establish a specific school, but a good space for multiple schools and training. Ultimately, I think that if I were to go that route, and just say, you know what I want to do this, just this, the rest of my life, I think that's what I would want to do, I would not only want to have a school where I would be teaching or training and that that's possible, but also to make sure that that school was capable of frying in other schools to train and to show and to demo and everything else. And that being said, I'm not sure at this point in my life, whether I can move along the road like that. So, by now, I'm still doing what I've been doing, which is that this, this, this form of martial arts is cool. I think that this would be good for me, I want to try it. And you know, so at least, you know, within the next year, I know I'm going to be back in back in the dojo for growing chunk, and I'm going to look forward to that I want to more their form of stiff fighting is yet another style that I've never seen. They're separate classes at the school. The school that I was, and had, you know, had one form, and partner of the interest will have another form, and they're all six, but it's also all different. And that's amazing to know that, you know, it's like, okay, how is it? How is a specific school or discipline using different types of weapons?
You know, like, again, going back, I think that one of the better chances that happened to me is when I was going to compete with both staff on that tournament, and my instructor miscellany thought about it's like, I am going to teach you differently for more a for the tournament, that is specifically Japanese stuff. As opposed to anything for shaolin, or for Chinese or anything else like that. And it never even occurred to me that that was a thing that different, but it makes sense, you know, you know, that, you know, different countries, different cultures, different experiences are going to have a different way of doing it, but being able to approach and going, Wow, that's, you know, they hold it this way, and they die, you know, it's like that they, you know, they have to use both hands and all these things like, you know, they usually don't like go the staff and kept both hands on it. And maybe that was what I needed as a beginner on boats. And that's fine, but just the concept of there's just so much more out there. So, let's learn this. One, I mastered that. Let's learn the other.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Yeah. You and I are very similar. In this respect. There was a point pre COVID where I was training in an ending on, I looked at it three or four schools simultaneously, you know, not three days a week at each of them, and I certainly didn't have time for that, but actively engaged these different ideas and training in different ways with different people different concept, and I loved it. And I think you and I are probably kindred spirits in that way. Because it's all good. And to learn more of it, and to piece it all together in this weird puzzle, I just think is so much fun. It sounds like you're similar.
Steven Matulewicz:
As trying to get through life that way, there's just so much there. And I mean, I know that, at least in our culture, that there is a focus of saying, when I heard an interview from the child, Bob Ross, basically said that in your life to choose one chair, meaning, find the thing that you like that finding enjoy and do just that. Well, we have, we now have a culture where people have jobs that are very specific. And that's great. And for many people, that there's a joy in that there, they feel that they have a completeness to their lives, because they have that focus, that they have that command of the knowledge and command of whatever it is that they're doing. But there are people I think, like you and I can say that feels restrictive, in many ways that our completeness isn't defined by having complete mastery of x is more in the adventure of being able to add on to that and add more maybe, maybe we're, you know, somebody like me is not going to be, you know, a grandmaster, or something along those lines, I'll have, you know, little masteries or dabbles in, you know, all these different things while I'm going along. But that is where I get. It's like, I'm not going to get you know, any kind of notoriety, I think, for being XYZ, sure, because it's more like being a jack of all trades. But that doesn't make the way I do things any less enjoyable or any less correct for myself than the way anybody else does things for them.
Jeremy Lesniak:
Couldn’t agree more. All right. Well, let's shift a little bit, start to wind down here. This has been a wonderful conversation. But of course, as I mentioned, at the top, we can't do it all day. I got other people to talk to you. It's the downside of us doing several in a day is that there are some boundaries I have to watch for. So first off, thank you. Appreciate it. Now, if people are listening, and they're saying, you know, let me get ahold of this guy, like his story resonates for me, you know, are you willing to share any social media or contact information email? Maybe that we could put out to people?
Steven Matulewicz:
Yeah, I mean, if people wish to contact me via email and fully fine with that. Again, I tend to be a little guarded. So that, you know, depending on how that conversation goes, I can bring them on other things. Yeah. But yeah, I'm totally fine with sharing.
Jeremy Lesniak:
What is your email address?
Steven Matulewicz:
It’s my first and last name, so it's smatulewicz1@gmail.com.
Jeremy Lesniak:
And then, as we as we close up here, you know, this is your final words to the audience, you know, I'm going to record an intro and an outro later, but this is your last chance to talk directly to them. We've been all over the place today. And I mean that in a complimentary way. As you may not know, everybody listening knows I love wandering conversations. So how do you want to close this up? What do you want to leave the listeners with today?
Steven Matulewicz:
I would like to leave with letting people know that whatever road they're on, it's okay. And whatever we're doing, and know what or you know, however you perceive that you know, where you're going or how you're doing and what you know, however, how frustrated you are and maybe don't want to continuing further or, you know, that you want to, you know, focus on one thing or that you know, like this is sort of pulling you away from martial arts. Maybe your desire still to be there for the future, whatever the road is, it's okay. And that the best thing that you can do is again, to bring yourself to that center in your, in your mind and say, where do I go now? Where do I need to be now and go there and move there. Despite how scary it is, despite how frustrating it is, like how happy you are, do that. And if martial art is part of that, that's awesome, if that gives you some part, completeness in where you are right now. Go there, but also have the flexibility to understand that that road may take you places that you have no idea even existed. And you need to be open to that because that can that's really where you can start to see what life has ready for you. And willing to give.
Jeremy Lesniak:
I told you at the top that I felt like this journey, this story that we were going to hear was a bit more common than society. And honestly, even the show might lead us to believe the vast majority of people who trained in the martial arts don't have eighth/ninth degree black belts, they don't have schools or books or movie careers. We feature quite a few of them on the show, because well, it's let's face it, you all want to hear from those people. But then we hear from someone like Steven who I'll be really honest, I identify with more than just about anybody else that's been on the show, because of my very training experiences. And my feeling like sometimes, you know, I ended up at schools that I didn't belong at, but felt trapped or circumstances dictated that it was the best option for me. So, Steven, I really appreciate you coming on. I appreciate the incredible openness with which you shared your story with everyone. And I look forward to getting to talk to you again and ideally in person. And, you know, there's some, there's some more stuff I want to chat with you about. Because I like I said, I think we're on the same page.
For those of you listening, I hope you'll check out whistlekickmartialartsradio.com and see the stuff that we've got going on over there, sign up for the newsletter, check out the photos of Steven we put up check out transcripts from episodes you know, just whatever over there works for you. Remember, we've got the store, whistlekick.com as well as a ton of ways you can help us out. We've got books on Amazon, we've got social media, it's at whistlekick everywhere you can think of, we've got the Patreon and we've got those training programs. You know, we've got the fuel program, which is designed to improve your cardiovascular fitness based on modern science, my understanding tons of research, years of training and coaching. And you know what works. So, you can check that out. You can find all of our training programs at whistlekickprograms.com because again, I don't name things creatively. If you have guest suggestions or feedback, anything like that you want to reach out to me. My email is pretty straightforward, Jeremy@whistlekick.com. Until next time, train hard, smile, and have a great day.