Episode 716 - Sensei Aric Conto

Sensei Aric Conto is a martial arts practitioner and instructor at Iwa Dojo in Virginia.

I think that I have always been, and I still am, a perpetual student. If I see something that makes sense or works or somehow I’m missing or could better my game or skillset as a martial artist, I’d like to learn more about it…

Sensei Aric Conto - Episode 716

Born in Malone NY in 1968, Sensei Aric Conto has called Culpeper home for the past 40 years.

Aric began his training in Kyokushin Karate in 1976 under Sensei A. Zeno, Chief instructor of The Northern Karate Dojo, Malone NY. At the age of 8, he also began training in the youth boxing program at the local YMCA. Moving to Virginia in 1982, his stepfather opened the very first martial arts school here in Culpeper VA. Aric continued his Karate training, earning 3rd degree Black Belt in 1997. 

Aric has trained and competed in martial for over 45 years. Western Boxing, Full Contact Karate, Judo, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and Praying Mantis Kung Fu. Martial arts and physical fitness are integral aspects of Aric's life. His passion for training is only matched by his love and commitment to his lovely wife Heidi and their four children.

In this episode, Sensei Aric Conto tells us about his journey into martial arts and why it’s important that he was able to train in numerous disciplines. Listen to learn more!

Show Notes

Check out Sensei Aric Conto’s school at www.studio120va.com.
You may also follow Sensei Conto on Instagram

Show Transcript

You can read the transcript below.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Hello, everyone, how are you? You're tuned into whistlekick Martial Arts Radio, Episode 716. My guest today is Sensei Aric Conto, whom I'm Jeremy Lesniak, I'm whistlekick founder and host for the show. Where everything we do, is in support of the traditional martial arts. If you want to know more about what we're doing, go to whistlekick.com that's the place to learn about all of our projects and products. It's also the place to find our store. And if you use the code PODCAST15, it's gonna save you 15% on anything over there, from apparel, to training equipment, to programs, you name it, it's gonna get you 15%. The show martial arts radio gets its own website. And we named it pretty simply whistlekickmartialartsradio.com. We bring you two episodes each and every week. And well, why don't we do that. We're working hard to connect, educate and entertain traditional martial artists around the world. 

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I had the opportunity to meetSensei Conto back on free training day, 2021. And what a nice guy, what a knowledgeable guy. And I had a feeling that would lead to a good conversation. And guess what? I was right. We had a wonderful time and I shouldn't speak for him. I had a wonderful time. I think he did too. I think it's a great episode. Two guys talking about martial arts with a number of points where I think we could say statistically, things went kind of differently than maybe they should have. It's an interesting story. His story is what I really enjoyed. And I hope you do too. So here we go. Eric, welcome to whistlekick Martial Arts Radio. 

Aric Conto:

Thank you very much. It's a pleasure.

Jeremy Lesniak:

That's great to have you here. I met you at free training day, like so many others I met you at free training day. And Andy brought you up and I feel like I know you so much more than I should. Based on that limited time though. Do you also feel that while you bet you said you were listening to some episodes before?

Aric Conto:

Yeah, well, the training day was a great event. And I'm glad we had a chance to meet. I appreciate the invitation. It was a wonderful event and just a great chance to get exposure and mix and mingle with like minded folks and get some cross training. I really enjoyed it and it was nice that we got to share dinner and yeah, have a drink afterwards and get to know each other.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Yeah, that's, you know, I think that's such an important part. You know, you said something that's really important to me, it's the like minded piece. You know, we can train the same stuff. But if we don't approach it with the same mindset. It might as well be you know, shotokon and golf. But I think sharing those meals, sharing those off the mat, will, I think really build something that we can fall back on.

Aric Conto:

Yeah, I agree. And I think some relationships, some connections were made and probably some long term relationships. I mean, here we are. Here we are together having a conversation and hooked up with some folks that I met there through social media and sharing some stories and I think actually, you know, I think Andy Rodriguez who you spoke to before, my teacher, I think he actually traveled up and met with some folks recently that he, oh, come in contact with. Yeah, yeah. So he made a trip up north. And I think he connected with some of the folks from the Krav Maga.

Jeremy Lesniak:

They're nice. Yeah, yeah, you know, it's interesting to watch relationships, where relationships follow those kinds of viral model models, you know, people meet them and then introduce them to other people. And, we can track the spread of various martial art styles in that way and everything. And I find that really interesting. But what I love about what we do with free training days is how do I say this? It's a lot easier to get further training with friends. And strangers. You know, if you and I have some time in and I trust you, and you slip. And now when a little bit too far, oh, my elbow. I know it was an accident. Because we've got time and we're, you know, your punch, you don't pull your punch quite as well as maybe you normally do. You know, and now I'm bruised up or, you know, heaven forbid, you know, push my nose out of place a bit. But if we've got time in, I can trust that that was abnormal. You're not a jerk. 

Aric Conto:

Yeah, yeah, that familiarity breeds trust. That breeds trust. And once you find that level of trust in your training partners, you can relax. In karate, they call it “uke”. Right? Or judo, they call it an okay, so you're there to receive their technique. And you give to your partner, you don't resist, you don't fight with them, you don't hold a grudge if they slip a little bit. Because that's part of the training process. It's all a give and take. And it's a lot easier to share that experience with someone you're familiar with and someone you're comfortable with. 

Jeremy Lesniak:

It's true. And then hopefully, someday, somebody's willing to help you. And give them their body. Because, you know, at the end of the day it doesn't matter what you train. If you don't have the use of another person's physical form. You're only gonna go so far.

Aric Conto:

Yeah, yeah, everything. Everything can't be a contest, or great. Pressure testing is great. But everything can't be a contest all the time. It just creates a closed minded, combative, fall back on the basics, fall back on what you know, survival instinct, and it's hard to grow that way.

Jeremy Lesniak:

You're never going to do anything new under pressure. 

Aric Conto:

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. When you're under real pressure, or your partner is non-compliant, and you fall back on what gets the job done. And it's hard to grow. It's hard to grow. 

Jeremy Lesniak:

You’re probably not okay. Because usually that means you're demonstrating in front of a group, but you ever had a partner who just you know, they're, they're making you work for it too hard. And he just liked them in the face. And then you go along, go on with it. They're like, I just pop them in the nose like a dog. I'm just like, stomach.

Aric Conto:

You know, I think, unfortunately, that's part of spending most of your life training. You have a lot of that, especially when you start training as a kid. And you train through your teenage years, I don't think I don't think there are too many, at least not back in the 70s and 80s. There aren't too many young men that don't enjoy the spirit of a good contest. So there always seems to be resistance. Even when they're not supposed to be resisted.

Jeremy Lesniak:

I was making you work for it.

Aric Conto:

Yeah. It's worth the instructions. But yeah, there's probably quite a few occasions more than I would more than I would like where your partners are just non-compliant. It's just part of it.

Jeremy Lesniak:

It takes all kinds. And it's good that it takes all kinds because that's what helps us get better. Yeah, so how did you start? 

Aric Conto:

Funny, funny story. 

Jeremy Lesniak:

I like funny stories. 

Aric Conto:

Okay. Well, I don't know if it's funny or not. But it sounds funny to me looking back at it. And I haven't thought about these things in a long time. But I'm 54. Now, I started training when I was eight. So this was back in the 70s. 

Jeremy Lesniak:

Uncommon somebody that young at that time. 

Aric Conto:

Yeah, because there's nothing around, right? Nothing was happening back then. Especially where I was. So I grew up in a little town, called him alone in upstate New York, right up on the Canadian border. And that was a real sort of a typical story, but for a lot of guys that get started in martial arts, but I was a real secret kid. I was kind of small and weak, had asthma, terrible asthma, and spent a lot of time growing up with inhalers medications in and out of the hospital. I remember as a child being in an oxygen tent, I still do that. But I go in and get a shot of adrenaline to open everything up, then they stick in an oxygen tent, so you can breathe for a while. And I didn't like being sick. It was frustrating. And here's the funny part of the story. In 1976, a movie came out, Rocky. I know it sounds cheesy. But I went to see that movie as a kid. And to me, it was so inspiring. You know, here was this guy who really had nothing, wasn't in very good shape, didn't take very good care of himself. But he persevered and became something. 

And of course, all the, you know, the rocking training scenes and music and everything. And I watched that when I was a kid, I came out of there. And I said, Man, I've got to learn how to box. I've got a box. So I went home. And it's time I was living with my grandmother. And I said I need to learn how to box. What can we do? She does not do much. I can't teach you how to box but you couldn't just go buy a heavy bag anywhere, you know. So she and she were great. She was a big part of my life as a child. So she actually made a heavy bag for me. She was a seamstress. She sewed all the time. So she made a heavy I don't know how to Canvas or cloth or something. 

And she made this big bag. And she stuffed it full of all these sewing scraps and stuff that she used to use and hung it up in the garage. She said There you go. And I took a pair. I remember I took a pair of her gardening gloves. She had a garden out back. And I cut the fingers out of the gardening gloves. And I would stand out there and hit this back. I love it. I would stand in the garage and hit this bag and try to figure out what I was doing. And then one day my mother comes home. She goes you know the YMCA has a youth boxing program. I said mom, I got it. You got to take me there. So that's kind of how that started. It was 76 I think. And there was a little boxing program at the Y, probably four or five kids. We went in there. We learned how to throw punches and move around and I was terrible. I was terrible at it. Because I would be out of breath and like half of a round. Yeah, but I stuck with it as much as I could and really enjoyed it. And that was probably my first step into the martial arts world from there. I don't think there was any turning back.

Jeremy Lesniak:

What age were you when you didn't need an inhaler anymore?

Aric Conto:

Um, about the end of grade school, maybe 12-ish or so. That kind of went away. I always felt like I kind of worked my way through it. I know a lot of people will outgrow those conditions but I was always trying to push against it. I tried to play basketball in grade school. I couldn't play basketball because I couldn't run. I used to have to wear this mask when I went outside in the wintertime up there, so I couldn't breathe in the cold air. I'm walking around with a mask but once I started boxing as a kid and really tried to work out and increase my wind. I felt like I was fighting against something. I felt like I was trying to push it back and make myself strong.

Jeremy Lesniak:

I knew a number of kids growing up that trained karate with me and they seemed like most of them were some type of somewhere between bulldog and remote. Their inhaler anymore? 

Aric Conto:

Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I mean, obviously, exercise transforms your body. And at that age, you're growing and developing so fast. Anyway, I'd like to think that it was a combination of the two that kind of pushed that to the side. And it was about the same year or the following year that my mother, she started dating. My mother was divorced. She started dating a gentleman in town there and Malone who was a martial arts practitioner. Hmm. I had no idea. But in that little tiny town, there was a Kyokushin karate school. I didn't know what that was. But I started to get to know this person who would later on become my stepfather. Ultimately, he and my mother got married. And he invited me up to the dojo one day, and he said, oh, it's good. You're boxing. If you want to come up here, you can watch some karate and Kyokushin. I had no idea what he was talking about. 

But I went up to this, this dojo in town. I think I was eight or nine. And they were all lined up in a row with white peas, punching, kicking, pounding, hitting heavy bags, which I love. And I said, Man, this is great. How do I do this? Of course, I had a free pass because I was dating my mom. So I'm gonna say no. Yeah, there were no kids up there. They didn't have any real kids classes. They were probably some older teenagers. Everybody else was adults. But I got to line up in the back and start to learn key home and basics. And that's where as soon as I started doing that, I didn't go back to the YMCA anymore. I focused on that full time.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Rocky to boxing makes sense. You saw what was on screen, you had an idea of where the path might lead. Right? Same reason. We watch sports movies or superhero movies, we see something representative on screen that we want to embody even in part. Was the relationship with this man that later became your stepfather? Was it similar? Did you like him? Did you look up to him and say, oh, if I do this, I can become more like him.

Aric Conto:

You know, I don't want to say that I had a troubled view. But my father was not a very good part of my life. He was gone before I knew who he was. Occasionally he would pop in, make a promise here. They're usually not fulfilling those promises, and then kind of be gone again. So my expectations for a male role model were pretty low. And then along comes this guy who seems to be pretty good to my mother. He's around all the time. very fit, very strong guy. And that mattered a lot to me as a kid because I was not. And most importantly, he was really good to me. He involved me and things. gave me some respect. As a child. You know, a lot of adults treat kids like kids. He always treated me like a friend. So I liked him. And he was a big influence. 

So when he invited me up to the dojo out there and I think he was maybe like a brown belt at the time or something. I don't know how long he'd been up there. But when he invited me up there, and I watched him train and saw everybody else, that was a very positive influence. So I guess looking back at it, thinking of him as a father figure, even before he actually came on, I wanted approval. You know, I wanted approval, and I wanted him to respect me. 

So I was happy to jump in line and train. And once I got involved, I really truly loved it was very formative. As a kid, I think it still defines a lot of who I am today. Even though I've trained in lots of other martial arts over the next 40 years. I've always thought of myself as a karate guy. And it influenced me through some of the other training to some things I was good at and some things not so good. Karate doesn't always translate. 

Jeremy Lesniak:

Yeah. I have this theory that for the majority of people who start training, if they stick with it, it's because martial arts provided something to them that they were lacking in their life at the time that they started, you know, we think we've already kind of unpacked that, you know, there was a desire for male role model, probably some structure, some camaraderie, if you were living with your grandmother, I'm sure most of us can infer some things from that. 

But I'm, I'm wondering, if you were aware, at eight years old, that you were doing something very few eight year olds, we're doing what you've said, you know, sounds like at least seven, eight years minimum between you and the next youngest kid there. So you're kind of at a place, which is something that a lot of eight year olds aren't going to be good at for long periods of time. Oh, no, I really want to do this. And here we are, you know, three weeks later. I'm the only kid. Right? A lot of parents out there are probably nodding along, going “yep. I've heard my kids say that”. How did you move past that? 

Aric Conto:

You know, what's odd is I think I'm an only child. So doesn't mean I didn't have friends growing up, or, but I didn't mind being alone. I didn't mind not having other kids around. I knew that there were no other children in the dojo, but it never really made me feel uncomfortable. Another funny story, everybody there had a gig. The Gis came up. The teacher there. His name was Anthony Zeno. He trained under Shigeru Oyama, Master Oyama sent to the United States back in the 60s or early 70s to promote his kyushinkai in the US. So all the folks there who had gained the keys came up from New York City. I didn't have one. There were no Kid’s Gis to be found. No, this was again, 76/77. Another reason you may hear me mention my grandmother more than once, but I went home. I said, Man, I wish I had one of these karate outfits. She said, “why don't you see if you can get them?”. 

They come from Japan, New York City. I said I don't know where to get them. She said why don't you get one and bring it home. And again, she was a seamstress. She said get one and bring it home. She said I'll make you one. That's okay, because I believed anything she told me. So I brought one home. Sure enough, she made a pattern out of it, sized it for me, got some white canvas, and made me a Gi. And it's one of those things that as a kid, you know, kids are very particular, but I was certainly not ashamed to wear it. So, I showed up at the Kyokushin dojo in this homemade Gi that my grandmother made. And it was perfect. If I wish I still had, I don't know where it was. But I wish I still had.

Jeremy Lesniak:

My mother did the same thing, because I would have been like a quadruple zero when I started and I think she still has it. 

Aric Conto:

Oh, that's awesome. You ought to keep that treasure. 

Jeremy Lesniak:

Oh, absolutely. But that idea that, you know, where did your first gig come from? You know, somebody made it. You know, and that's I think it's a great illustration of the commitment around, right, you know, 4 years old, 5 years, 8 years old, 12 years old. It's really hard for a kid to stick with something if they don't have the support. And the recognition, let's get him the uniform, let's get them whatever it might have been to her, you know, the right equipment. Because that was something she saw that, you know, who knows what she saw in it for you, but she saw enough in it for you that she was willing to put in the work. 

Aric Conto:

Yeah, yeah, she did a lot of that for me growing up. And I think what you just said is pretty key to the right equipment, because it really is a piece of equipment. And I realize now, the more I train, especially like, you know, later on Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. You realize the Gi is a tool, it's a piece of equipment. And I needed that piece of equipment, I was already the youngest, certainly the smallest, no experience. So that piece of equipment really helped me feel comfortable. When I stood in line at the dojo there. It made a big difference.

Jeremy Lesniak:

So, Kyokushin and then where's the next kind of, sort of point in time that we want to talk about?

Aric Conto:

While in Kyokushin there, and again, I've looked back and thought about it and tried to come up with a timeline because of course you don't keep track of these things over the years. But yeah, it was. It was about five years or so that I trained there with my stepfather. And at Anthony Zeno’s dojo. Well, Oyama came up one time during that time. I always saw him once. And Shigeru Oyama. Yeah, yeah. He came up, he would send folks up occasionally, there was another school in White Plains. Those folks would come up and visit but it was at one. And, of course, my mother and my stepfather were married then. And Anthony Zeno, who ran the dojo, moved to Florida, to open a restaurant. We ended up moving to Florida as well. Because it's crazy, because my stepfather Larry went to work for him in this restaurant. Okay, so I went from upstate New York all the way down to Florida. And I was there for a year, but this year, we shared a duplex. 

So I lived in this duplex with Anthony Zeno who was like, fourth degree black belt and Kyokushin. Then my stepfather was a Shogun, I think at that time. And there I was, the little kids still tagging along and my homemade geek. So we lived down there for a year. I think they trained every day. It was a carport outside of this duplex, and every day I was out there with them. Training, push ups, kihon. Still too small to do a lot of fighting with them, but I did the best I could. That was a pretty, pretty remarkable year for me just to have that time directly with those two guys, especially at that age. You know, you're like 12/13 years old. And you just spend it training with these two Kyokushinkai. Then from there, why finally slowed down a little bit. We moved one more time and I ended up in Virginia. We moved back to Virginia. My stepfather moved again for work. And actually I'm actually living in that same town now. Full Circle. Full circle from 14 to 54. I came back. So now I'm living in Culpeper again. Teaching karate here. So there was some jumping going on at that time.

Jeremy Lesniak:

When was the first time you started doing something that wasn't Kyokushin

Aric Conto:

It was a while. There was a while so when we moved to Virginia, it was 1982 and of course my stepfather when he moved here. First thing he did was open up a dojo in Culpeper. So there's Kyokushin dojo and Culpeper. I trained from the time I was 14 all the way through my early 20s In the Kyokushin dojo. And of course during that time we went out and did a lot of competition. So we go fight with other Kyokushin schools. But we'd also go out when point fighting was pretty big, there was a lot of point fighting. And continuous contact became a thing where you would fight with light. Now you probably have been working through all this yourself, but you'd fight with light contact, and they'd score points and keep track of it. We were all terrible at it. Because we were all in Kyokushinkai right? So we're used to just really pounding each other. 

Jeremy Lesniak:

Oh, I can't cut you off at the knee with my shin. But that's something you can't just throw. 

Aric Conto:

You can't throw continuous thigh kicks and pull power punches to the body. That's not good. Where are my points? Right? So we were all terrible at it. But we would go out and do these tournaments to stay sharp. Yeah. But the first time, the first time that I really moved away from Kyokushin. To do something different, was probably in ‘96. I was still living in Virginia. But I wanted to branch out and do something different. I started working as a corrections officer. Now that I'm in my mid 20s, I started working as a corrections officer in Virginia and the Virginia system, which is interesting in itself. We will go through the police academy. And of course, you know, I wanted to be involved in everything, because I really enjoyed pressure testing. So put me on the PERT team, you know, the emergency response team and let me work in segregation, special housing, and if they had a cell extraction team, sign me up, I have to be part of that. 

So there's as much activity as I can get. It was almost like training. Just extra pressure testing. That's right. Yeah. Which was a lot, it was a lot of fun. But it ran its course pretty quickly. It's kind of a depressing place to work, you know? Yeah. But during that time, I did a little bit of Thai boxing. First time I really branched out was a little bit of Thai boxing. There was a Thai boxing gym up in DC, and Wharton outside of DC. So I would travel up there, it was almost an hour drive. And I would travel up there just once a week to try to pick up the skills of Thai boxing, learn how to move like a Thai boxer. I did that for about a year and a half, maybe two years. So that's probably my first time branching out and doing anything other than Kyokushin.

Jeremy Lesniak:

If I had to pick another martial art that I was aware of that I think philosophically was similar to Kyokushin. And probably there would be more time. That's interesting. That's where you ended up. 

Aric Conto:

Yeah, yeah. It was a good fit, you know, the styles are similar. And I think back in the day, they used to kind of pit one against the other. But Muay Thai is not really a lot like boxing. No, not like Western boxing, you know, certainly, it's not. There's a lot of close quarter clench work, a lot of knee and elbow. And a lot of advancing, it's always in the advancing power striking type of system. And that's really what I wanted at the time was just to figure out how to hit harder and hit better. Because that's all we did. Right? 

I needed more of that. But they learned how to advance. They move with a lot of frames, you know, they move a lot of frames, these big structures to intercept attacks, and then counter off that. And I wanted to learn how to be proficient with the elbows like they were all those good cutting elbows and skipping knees. I learned footwork there that I never had and killed for sure. We just didn't have to just kind of move forward and I mean, you probably if you've ever watched it.

Jeremy Lesniak:

But one of my original styles was Kyokushinkai, and rather than footwork it was, it hurts. It means you didn't do enough conditioning? Yeah. Why are you getting out of the way you lose position? If you get out of the way, let them hit you and then hit them harder. That's how I was brought up.

Aric Conto:

Yeah, that's right. They, it's all about conditioning and it builds a mentality of invincibility. Right? How much pain cpapacutan you take? Not necessarily a good thing.

Jeremy Lesniak:

No, philosophy has a place I think. But I don't think it builds long term affinity for training, if all you know is pain, that speaks to a certain kind of person.

Aric Conto:

You know, what's funny, too, is I still, I still am in touch with some of the guys that I trained with. And one of them still trains with me. Now, I hesitate to call him a student because he certainly at least appears. But we get together and train and I share knowledge with him. And he shares knowledge with me that we still have that mentality. And because we grew up that way, we still have that mentality of if we didn't push ourselves to the point of either physical exhaustion. Or if we don't have some battle scars to show, then we didn't really train hard. And now we're older, you know, we can't do that anymore. 

So we sit around and we criticize each other for doing it. Right. His name is Mike and, Mike, we need to slow down, we need to take care of ourselves. Now. He's actively training in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. So he's a brown belt. I trained with a Yamasaki club up in Northern Virginia. And he still will call and talk about this injury or that injury. And I'm a few years older than he is. So I'm always like, Mike, you got to dial it back, that scar tissue just keeps accumulating. You know. But it's been hard for us to get out of that mentality. And I think it's just because we grew up that way, but we're getting better.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Regression is real. No, get together with some friends from high school and tell me you're not acting like you're 16 again. It happens to me every single time.

Aric Conto:

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And we'll get together and tell stories about when we were 16. And we also sometimes, sadly, train like we're 16 and we're not. But we had a great time. He's a skilled martial artist, and I always enjoy the exchange. We learn a lot from each other.

Jeremy Lesniak:

That you mentioned. You've got some time to listen to BJJ. Right? 

Aric Conto:

Yes. Okay. So in the late 90s, got married, changed careers and moved to Maryland. And I was right on the border between Maryland and Delaware, a little town called northeast [00:38:31-00:38:32]. And at that time, right in that area, it was kind of like a little martial arts Mecca. There was just a lot going on up there. There was Gracie Jiu Jitsu School, which was hard to find and 9798 especially heard me on the West Coast, maybe not so much. But that was kind of hard to find. There was a good boxing gym up there too, which I found later. But funny story when I first went up there, once I got settled into the new career path when I was traveling a lot I was working in sales. I said man, I gotta find a place to train. Looking around I found this Gracie Jiu Jitsu school up there. This is great because the UFC had just come out. So you can see UFC fights and the Gracies were dominating everything. I said, okay, I gotta go here. See what's going on. So I go there, and I walk in the guys are granted it sounds. It sounds silly now, because everybody knows. You know, jujitsu is fantastic on the ground. But as a kyokushin guy, walk in and you see these guys rolling around. On the ground, you don't really get up. 

Jeremy Lesniak:

I'm not allowed to kick you when you're down there.

Aric Conto:

Yeah. Okay. And they said they were doing MMA training. They said, come back. Come back on Saturdays I said, when do you guys do MMA? When are you up punching and kicking? Because, you know, that's, I want to do that to come back on Saturday, we have MMA. So okay. So I came back on Saturday now, now mind you this school. And I've heard this expression before it was kind of a shark tank school. If that makes sense. I didn't realize it at the time. It is the school still there. It's changed affiliations several times, which is part of the reason that I left ultimately. And it's very much an MMA school now. So this was the mentality there, which was fine at the time. 

So I went back that Saturday, and they were doing MMA sparring. I said, Okay, great. Put on the gear. I said, that's all right. Unless you make me do it. I'm not gonna wear any gear. We put on a little gear. first fight. I line up, there's a white belt there. And I told them, I had plenty of experience. So bang, bang, bang, white belts went pretty quick. And I'm feeling good. I'm like, yeah, see, I don't think this jujitsu is all that it's cracked up to be right. 

Jeremy Lesniak:

Now, I'm laughing because we've all heard this story. We've all been part of the news. So many of us have been part of this story at one point, you know, from 1995 to 2000, maybe as late as 2002. Like that, five to seven years. But please continue.

Aric Conto:

You know where it's going. So Blue belt comes up, though. His blue belt. Yeah, well, Blue belt. Okay. the blue belt came up, took a little longer. He just wasn't able to close bang, bang, bang. He's done. Listen, man, I knew it. Then a purple belt stands up, a tall, lanky, skinny kid who ended up being a great friend of mine who actually taught me more than anyone else there. But this guy comes up. He's probably 160 pounds. At that time, I was 230 pounds. I used to do a lot of strength training and weightlifting. So I was a pretty big guy. And this guy, I looked at him, I thought, oh, my goodness, I hope I don't hurt this fell. Within 30 seconds, my initial clash. All of a sudden, I'm on my back. Trying to get up. I think there were some points to be proven to because it was that kind of Saturday. 

So, there was no tapping. I don't even know if I knew how to tap. But I knew how to go to sleep. Hmm, yeah. So I woke up. I woke up on the mat on my back, looking up having no idea where I was, or what happened. And I remember distinctly, him taking my back as I tried to get up taking the rear naked choke. And I kept I heard the sound, it was like a bomb bomb. And I said, Man, somebody left the phone off the hook. 

It sounded like the fall was off the hook. You know, the old landline phone beeping. I think it was my heart rate. So I was looking around the room and I saw everything kind of close in. And that was the last thing I remember. It took me a little while to figure out where I was. And I went over and gave that guy a hug. And then I went over to the instructor there. I said, hey, sign me up. And that was the beginning of my journey into Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

Jeremy Lesniak:

I want to unpack that. That moment, that realization. Because what I like about this story, and I don't just mean your version of this story. But the multiple versions of this story that I've heard personally, either on the show or off the show, is that one of two things always happens. You start off feeling good. You're like I got this like these guys like, what's the big deal here? And then eventually, somebody shows you here's the big deal. Here's where you're missing. Here's your gap. Not everyone handles it the way you do. Some of them said, you know, there's some kind of distancing that goes on some kind of rationalization to justify. Well, here's why that happened. And here's why I'm not going to plug that hole. What was it about your training, your personality, whatever, that you wake up from being choked out. And your response is, I want to get better.

Aric Conto:

I think that I have always been, and I still am a perpetual student. If I see something that makes sense, or works, or somehow I'm missing, or could better my game or my skill set as a martial artist, I'd like to learn more about it. I had a dojo, 20 year anniversary this weekend, and went up and trained. And I met one of the guys who came up from Florida, and they said, “how was it that you've trained at so many different places?”. And I said, “Gosh, I guess because there's so much more”. So, I think to answer your question, I think it wasn't, I didn't really have a big ego that needed to be adjusted. 

I think that there was a lesson to learn, I had never been put in that situation, it was very humbling. And I still tell people to this day, you know, and I've trained in judo since then, and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu on and off. Up until very recently, there's not much more humbling than having someone put you in a position on the ground, and hold you there, despite your very best efforts to get out of it. And either tap you out or choke you out. And there's just really nothing you can do about it. It's a very humbling experience. And I think, if you don't take it the right way, if you have, maybe if you have insecurities that are deep seated, that may bring them out. And that may happen. 

And you may go, you know what, that was a fluke, I'm not going to deal with that, I'm going to walk away back to my comfortable reality, and I'm going to stay there and call myself good. But if you want to learn, and you feel confident in yourself and your abilities, that shouldn't have that effect on you, it's just an opportunity to grow. And that's the way I saw it. It was very humbling. And I've been humbled many times since then. And every time I feel that, it's just another opportunity to grow.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Again, growing up in the time that you did, the martial arts era that you did. Ego was even stronger within the martial arts, then than it is now. And people who didn't train back then may or may not fully understand that, that you were taught that your instructor was probably infallible. And if anybody could beat them up, it was their instructor. And that was about it. But I'm going to guess that somewhere in there, you were taught that learning more is good.

Aric Conto:

Yeah, yeah, I think so. Learning more is always good. It may be the way that I was raised, I was raised being humbled. I was a kid and a grown up dojo. You know, I was trained by my father.

Jeremy Lesniak:

It was irrelevant to you. It didn’t matter. Because what was the point? I mean, younger, smaller asthmatic, less experienced, like, there's nothing you're gonna do to justify your own ego around your martial arts skill at that time, based on who you're with. You had to be humble. 

Aric Conto:

I had to be humbled, because there was no one there that I could hope for. So I was always being humbled. So maybe, you know, maybe you just grew up that way in those formative years, you just kind of accept the fact that that's the way it's going to work. Not that I didn't have an ego, I went in there with an ego. I felt pretty good about myself at that time. You know, I was in my late 20s. And at my peak of abilities, so I thought, but I discovered there was a lot more to learn. Yeah, yeah.

Jeremy Lesniak:

I'm sure I heard variations on the saying, if you're the smartest person in the room, or the toughest person in the room, find a different room, a bigger room. And that's, you know, that's kind of what I'm hearing. I mean, you started out as by far the smallest fish in the pond. And it sounds like your life kept throwing you into these bigger and bigger ponds, and you kept remaining one of the smaller fish.

Aric Conto:

Yeah, yeah, I think that's a good analogy. And isn't that where you want to be? Again, I don't know what it is. But I think that those folks that kind of prop themselves up and I hate to say that and I don't want to sound derogatory, but they kind of prop themselves up, up and they stop exposing themselves to folks that are better than them. They stop exposing themselves to pressure. Pressure matters. 

You know, pressure helps you grow. The guy I boxed with, his name was Richard Stewart. He was a pro boxer in Tiberius gym in Delaware. Around the same time all the jiu jitsu was going on. I was boxing as well. And he made a comment to me. He was a cruiserweight. I went in there, I was a heavyweight, I don't claim to be a heavyweight boxer. I mean, I learned how I learned the fundamentals. But I was certainly a heavyweight at the time. But he just was warmer, he would just stay on you and just keep hitting him and hitting you and hitting you. He was relentless. He would take a shot to give to he would take a hard shot to give a harder shot. And I was talking to him after three or four rounds, maybe four rounds was about the most accurate stand. And I said, Richard, how is it that you just keep coming and hitting, coming and hitting and he said, pressure, busts pipes. That was his analogy. And pressure, and pressure testing matters. And you should really do as much of it as you can, while you can. I feel like I grew up kind of being pressure tested. 

From the time I was a kid all the way through my 40s. I was always under pressure, put myself under pressure. And it's, it's humbling. But again, as I've said a few times, I think it's really how you grow. And if you pull yourself out of that. And you kind of prop yourself up too soon, you're really doing yourself a disservice. That may be offensive to a lot of people. I don't? I don't know. I don't know. So as you look back on that, that time being pressured. What do you do with that information? Now, as you work with others? Are you pressuring them? Are you encouraging them to find their own pressure situations? No, I wouldn't encourage anybody to find pressure situations outside of training. So now I teach. And I teach Okinawan, Shōrin-ryū karate. And I'm probably about the most gentle teacher that I've ever known. 

Jeremy Lesniak:

Now, that has had to say much, though,

Aric Conto:

I don't know what that says, I don't know what that says. But I don't have any children. It's teenagers and adults. My classes are small. How a quarter the Dojo is my family, my kids. And I use drills for pressure testing. But I certainly don't train them the way that I trained. I don't know why that is. I don't know if there's a good way to explain that. But I think pressure testing is necessary. But I'm much more relaxed, it seems when leading others down that path than I was with myself. I don't know why. Maybe it's age.

Jeremy Lesniak:

We end up with these interesting common arcs on the show, and one of them is you know, when I was young, I trained super duper crazy hard. And I love that and that was great. But I got older and I realized that wasn't the only way to do it. And now I teach and I'd rather people come into class every opportunity and weren't that way they just smashed him against the wall and have them come when they're healed? 

Aric Conto:

Yeah. And you've trained for a long time as well. And injuries are nothing but setbacks. They're not. They're not badges of honor, dilemmas progress. It does. That's what I do now. So I'm 54. Now, and I spend, and I train, I have never not trained, I don't think there's ever been a week that I've gone without training. I don't think there's ever I've tried to think about, I don't think there's more than a week or so even on vacation I trained. But now, I manage the intensity of my training with what my body is able to do to avoid injury, so that I can keep training consistently. And maybe, maybe it's doing that, that has helped me realize that that is a better pathway, long term for everybody to actually advance in progress. You know, it's not about a sprint. And then a stagger. It's about a long, slow, steady jog and accumulating knowledge, injury, free scar tissue free, and just keep moving and advancing. 

Jeremy Lesniak:

If you can get it, you know, I like the number 1. But as you get deeper into training, even that's too much. If you can get a quarter of a percent and better every time you train. Continue to do that. You know, it shouldn't be hard and an hour of training to find something that you can get like a tiny little bit better at. And if you just keep doing that. Where do you end up in 5/10/20 years? Get pretty darn good. Yeah, weightlifting, I enjoy lifting. Because I think philosophically, similar to martial arts, that that investment in yourself. But what I like about it in a way more is that you've got numbers to work with. 

What derails everyone at the gym, you go, they ignore their body saying, you should not lift this weight today. And then they get hurt. And then they're out for whatever period of time and they come back. And they're frustrated. They're not where they were. They're not where they're where they should be using air quotes for listeners. And some of them will try to rush it and get hurt again, oh, I can't lift anymore. I just keep getting hurt. Whereas the smart people will say, you know, I'm gonna meet my body where I'm at and do what I can. And trust that I will progress again, and try not to make the same mistakes. 

Aric Conto:

Yes, yes. Weight training. That's a great analogy in comparison, because weight training, as you said, it's an investment in yourself. Even weight training is the same way. So I really, I was always a skinny kind of a puny kid, teenager, I was kind of a skinny teenager. I like being skinny, it doesn't go well with Kyokushin. Right. So I said we need to build up, we need to build up this house. And I started weight training with that ego and not really understanding and pushing and trying to do as much as possible when injuries and setbacks. But then you realize, you start to educate yourself. And you start to learn about progressions, methods of progressions. And if you slow down and you listen to your body, and follow these methods of progression, and change them all the time, your body will continually adapt to that stress. And you can do it injury free as long as you don't rush it so long as you don't rush it and you leave your ego at home. 

Jeremy Lesniak:

People forget that your body gets stronger not during the physical act of lifting weights, but it's in recovery later. Don't need to destroy your body to get stronger and beating it up more doesn't make you stronger, faster. It's actually the opposite. Yes, our martial arts training is similar to our practice, it's not for the sake of practice, it should be the implementation of information that you don't have fully embodied yet. At some point, you have to take a step back. Well, what am I training and why am I training it?

Aric Conto:

Yes, yes. Absolutely.

Jeremy Lesniak:

So what's coming next? You know, you've called attention to your age and where you're at a couple times, so I get the sense that that's something that's on your mind where you are as a man. I'm someone who has been training for 40 plus years. And you know, maybe you can't go as hard as you did all the time. But you know, there's a country song that you might not know, you're still you can still go as hard as you wanted to once if you need it. But do you think about these things? 

Aric Conto:

You know, it's funny for the very first time. And again, I know we, we talked about the past and I trained in jiu jitsu for for quite some time, went away to it, came back, went to a judo club, trained in judo for some years, left that trained in different martial arts for different reasons at different times. But what's happened now, just in the last few years is I've come full circle, I've kind of come back to what originally brought me in, and my original love of martial arts, which is karate. And I think, during all of these travels over the 30, something years in different places, I've always had that in my heart. And certainly in my body. I had a hard time boxing because I was a karate guy, right? 

I didn't, I don't, why am I moving to the side? Why don't I just come straight in and hit you. And if you run, how about I just push you into the corner? There, I can hit you more. I was not the greatest boxer. Brazilian jiu jitsu was so different, that it took me out of that element. And I became fairly proficient at that. But there's always a lot more to learn there. But now at this age, I've come back around full circle to something that was very formative, and it feels comfortable. It feels like coming home after a long time away. So to be honest, for the first time, in quite a few years, I'm really content. I'd like where I've been, I feel comfortable with the knowledge that I have. That does doesn't mean that I've put myself up on that pedestal by any stretch. I'm still learning all the time, all the time. 

But I like where I am. I train hard. I keep myself in good shape. But I get to pass knowledge and along to number one, my kids, I enjoy that. But also the other students in my little small Dojo here. So I really enjoy teaching gives me an opportunity to train. And there's a there's an odd contentedness in it. So I'm hoping that there's no more change. I like where I am. And I like what I'm doing right now. Feels good.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Do you think you would have enjoyed it as much if you hadn't taken the detours? 

Aric Conto:

I think I had to take the detours. I think I had to take the detours. And I think I took just enough detours for me to feel complete, if that makes any sense. It's kind of like test driving cars, you know, you go out and maybe you happen to be a little compact. And this one's too small. It's like Goldilocks and the Three Bears. This one's too hard. But come to find out. The first bed was just right. And it could be for a number of reasons. But I think because that's the way I grew up. That's what I grew up doing. That's what I know. That's really what's in me and what's in my bones. So I think I had to go out and do all these different things in order to come back to what I know and love the most and really appreciate. 

Jeremy Lesniak:

If we sit down 5,10,15 years from now, and I say you know, Eric, what have you been up to training wise? What's transpired since the last time we talked, what would you hope you would be saying?

Aric Conto:

Number 1, 15 years from now, I hope I'm still able to move and train the way that I watch. I'm actually pretty fortunate considering injuries that I've had in training that I can still move as well as I do. So now, my goal, what I would hope is that I can still do exactly what I'm doing, that I can still train, I can still train full force, I can still lift, I can still spar and move. And if, if I feel like it, I can get down on the mat, then do some light rolling, and maybe go do a little boxing and some sparring, you know, something, not as far as I used to, but then I'm still able to do it. Now it becomes almost about maintaining health, and just enjoying passing along. The little bit of knowledge that I've acquired. So, hopefully I can keep doing that.

Jeremy Lesniak:

School website, social media, anything like that you want to share with people? 

Aric Conto:

Yeah, yeah. In Culpeper. It's www.studio120va.com. So I share a space with the Pilates yoga studio up there. I'm up there a couple of nights a week. Iwa dojo. If you look at Iwa dojo in Delaware. That's my teacher's website. Andy Rodriguez. And thenIwa dojo in Virginia. There's a Facebook page. Also on Instagram, @iwadojo.

Jeremy Lesniak:

What thoughts? What words do you have for the listeners today? As we wrap up? What do you want to leave them with?

Aric Conto:

Interestingly, I think maybe something that you touched on before. I assume that our listeners are all training, or most of them are training your martial arts. 

Jeremy Lesniak:

99 plus percent?

Aric Conto:

Yeah, yeah. Leave your ego behind. Enjoy being a student. Go out and learn all you can to keep the cup half full. And maybe you'll be really surprised at what it fills up with and where it can take you.

Jeremy Lesniak:

Hope you liked that story. That conversation, since Aric's a good guy. And I'm sure we'll say that out. I'll draw that line in the sand. I'm sure we're gonna get the chance to work together again, being in the same place. Thanks for coming on the show. Thanks for sharing your time and your story. Add fun listeners, check out whistlekickmartialartsradio.com for all the show notes, where you're gonna find videos and links and social media and pictures and a lot more not just for this episode. But for every single one we've ever made. We don't paywall them. We don't do anything silly like that, like a lot of other shows do. Now if you're up for supporting us and the work that we do. Remember, you've got lots of choices. You could share an episode, leave a review on whatever podcast platform you use. 

Tell a friend about what we're working on. Or contribute to our Patreo, patreon.com/whistlekick. Are you interested in having me come to your school for seminar? I can do that. Do a good job at that. And I enjoy it. So just let me know. Don't forget the code PODCAST15 on anything at whistlekick.com. And if you have guests, topic suggestions, perhaps feedback, something like that, or want to hear about it. You can email me Jeremy@whistlekick.com. Our social media for everything whistlekick related is @whistlekick. Until next time, train hard, smile and have a great day.